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Keep it out of their reach!

By Chukwuneta Oby
13 June 2020   |   4:16 am
The blogs reported that an actor went ballistic on some followers, whose reaction to the video (of his family that he shared) was like “...but your ex-wife fits you better.”

The blogs reported that an actor went ballistic on some followers, whose reaction to the video (of his family that he shared) was like “…but your ex-wife fits you better.”

I agree that the average person here is adept at NOT knowing their limits with the affairs of others. And it’s often tempting not to cuss out such overreaching elements on the social media. But I also feel that certain anger should be unfounded…if one is indeed at peace with their choice.

You know you have come into your own when appearance/looks neither define happiness nor “doing well” for you. Only the faint hearted seek such in the approval of others (let alone the social media mob!).
The only reason such comments would rail one off the handle is when it’s contrary to an EXPECTED view or reaction.

Otherwise, when you are in a good place…the views of others (about your choices) SHOULD matter even least to you! Only you know the demon (of self, circumstances and others) that you have fought off to be where you currently are.

The peace (thereof) is an expensive one. And you should make it even more expensive for anybody to mess with!
Yes, keep your peace off their reach by refusing to engage the undesirable energy.

However, if one is still hurting from an experience, then it becomes necessary to work on really letting go. This expression best captures my view on letting go.

“To let go isn’t to forget, not think about or ignore. It doesn’t leave feelings of anger, jealousy or regret. Letting go isn’t winning and it isn’t losing. It’s not about pride and it’s not about how you appear and it’s not obsessing or dwelling on the past. Letting go isn’t blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts and doesn’t leave emptiness, hurt or sadness. It’s not giving in or giving up. Letting go isn’t about loss and it’s not defeat.

“To let go is to cherish the memories, but to overcome and move on. It is having an open mind and confidence in the future. Letting go is accepting. It is learning and experiencing and growing. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry and made you grow. It’s about all that you have, all that you had and all that you will gain. Letting go is having the courage to accept change and the strength to keep moving. Letting go is growing up; it’s realising that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy. To let go is to open a door and to clear a path and set yourself free,’’- unknown.

Another thing that enables the process of finding and keeping one’s peace is the state of one’s mental health.

And to that end, I am also sharing some of my suggestions on how to keep one’s mental health in top shape.

* Cultivate spiritual practices (e.g. meditation, deep breathing and yoga) that massage your mental health wholly.
* Reach out for help (counselling/therapy) when overwhelmed.
* Keep an active physical life e.g. exercises, gardening.
* Compose positive affirmations and mantra that speak to your soul and then say them to yourself daily.
* Get creative with your hands (crafts/skills) or imagination (e.g. journaling, painting, drawing, etc.). It is a good way to expend mental energy. And it often leaves you too exhausted to overthink issues.
* Take positivity as a personal project and see any settings that threaten that lofty mindset as the enemy.
* Put an end to any form of social comparisons. Realise that the journey of life is different for everyone.
* Do more of the activities that uplift your soul. E.g. playing music, volunteer services, watching movies, reading or listening to inspirational stuff.
* Cultivate with a support system. Also endeavor to be same (support system) to someone else.
* Avoid overwhelming yourself with too many tasks at a time. Another stressor of the mind is procrastination. It messes with one’s sense of fulfilment. So, it is important that you cultivate the willpower to do what needs to done when you SHOULD do it.
* Make charity a big part of your life. There is a certain fulfilment that follows “giving back” and frankly…very few things uplift the soul like the realisation that one is never too broken to make a difference in the life of another. It is said that happiness is also when you can halt thinking about your issues to give a helping hand to those who need you.
* Make ‘counting your blessings’ a big part of your daily ritual. It helps keep one on track.
* Eat well. Always go extra mile with your appearances and carriage.
* Use your time to cultivate knowledge. And begin to expend less time on the social media.

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