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Love is friendship…


I am tempted to start this discussion by harping on the things that some of those that we bring close are not doing right in our lives…as the evils of unfriendly friends seem to be a favourite topic of everyone.But looking at things deeply, it will occur to you (just as it has occurred to me) that you and I can actually start by being that “ideal loved one”.

Almost everyone of us has a certain sense of “entitlement” from their loved ones but if the roles were reversed-would you in all honesty say you have been that ideal to others? Looking back at my life, I realised that part of the WIND BENEATH MY WING is FRIENDS that believe in me-more than I dared to believe in myself.

One burst into tears recently when I told her that her positive affirmations towards me make me want to get better by the day. Her “emotions” stems from the fact that she never knew she makes such impact on me…but she does and I am happy I let her know that.I do not know about you but one of the crucial efforts I make in my everyday life is not to be found wanting when I should be a friend.

One of the reasons for my social activities is because I can’t bear not being able to make a positive difference in my own way. And that in itself has actually made me a better person.

How about simply deciding to be a FRIEND-in every sense of the word?
Love seems to connote so much emotional responsibility to a lot of us. That‘s the reason for clichés like “true love does not exist.’’Actually it does, but within us. You find love by living it. So let’s begin to live love but …in friendships!A lot of us are quick to point out what friends are not doing right but if the roles are reversed-I am not sure the perpetual sour grapes will do half as much.

My message today is for us to begin to approach friendship from the angle of LESS OF: I, ME, MYSELF AND MINE. Instead of harping on what that friend is not doing right, why not think of showing him/her how friendship should be? Yes, how about being that which you expect of others? Show someone how to be a FRIEND-they just might borrow a leaf from you. Otherwise, it becomes unfair to be “the judge and not the better person.’’

When was the last time you inconvenienced yourself for that man/woman you call a friend? Ok, let me rephrase…when was the last time a friend said a heartfelt THANK YOU to you? Has a friend’s hope in your integrity remained intact?When it comes to friendship, the only words most of us understand are TAKE, TAKE AND TAKE…the word GIVE is alien to a lot of us.We need to understand that FRIENDSHIP is also SACRIFICE.

And the best way to express LOVE is in first and foremost being a friend…in every sense of the word.Let’s begin to redefine FRIENDSHIP. Friendship is love expressed in companionship. Be the kind of friend you want to meet…the efforts should always begin with you.

Many of us have an idea of the kind of friend we want to meet but very few of us make the efforts to be that kind friend to someone, because it’s “sweeter” to take. Yet, love delights in giving more than it takes.A story is told of a man in need of money and asked his boss to help him out.His boss sets him a challenge: if he can spend all night on the top of a mountain, he will receive a great reward; if he fails, he will have to work for free.

When he left the shop, he noticed that an icy wind was blowing. He felt afraid and decided to ask his best friend, if he thought he was mad to accept the wager.After considering the matter for a moment, his friend answered: “Don’t worry, I’ll help you. Tomorrow night, when you’re sitting on top of the mountain, look straight ahead.“I’ll be on top of the mountain opposite, where I’ll keep a fire burning all night for you. Look at the fire and think of our friendship; and that will keep you warm.
“You’ll make it through the night, and afterwards, I’ll ask you for something in return.’’

He won the wager, got the money, and went to his friend’s house.“You said you wanted some sort of payment in return.’’His friend said: “Yes, but it isn’t money. Promise that if ever a cold wind blows through my life, you will light the fire of friendship for me.’’

In this article:
Chukwuneta Oby
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