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Obiakalusi admonishes women on feminism, gender equality in marriage

By Itunu Oyelekan
13 November 2021   |   2:48 am
Life coach and founder, Women of Valour Global Ministry, Mrs. Lovett Kalu Obiakalusi, has admonished women to put aside feminism and gender equality in their marriage

Obiakalusi

Life coach and founder, Women of Valour Global Ministry, Mrs. Lovett Kalu Obiakalusi, has admonished women to put aside feminism and gender equality in their marriage. She said it is good to have women aspire and aim higher like their male counterparts, but should stick to being submissive in marriage.

The couple mentor and relationship expert spoke to The Guardian in a virtual interview, while marking 28 years in marriage, which she attributes to total submission and the grace of God.

Obiakalusi, who opined that both concepts have been taken out of context, noted that both feminism and gender equality could work perfectly outside marriage.

“A woman can aspire to get to any position in life, but when it gets to marriage, you must give a man his rightful position. Feminism and gender equality can work anywhere else, but in marriage; you are not in competition with your husband.

“Marriage as an act of God, it is a contract and an agreement that is spiritually bonded between a man and a woman with God at the center of it. There is no hitch-free marriage, but there are two guiding principles, which guards a godly marriage: love and submission. The man is to love his wife, while the woman is to submit to her husband.”

Obiakalusi who is blessed with eight children and four grandchildren explained that a man should love his wife by displaying leadership and directive qualities while providing for his wife.

“This is not in terms of making the woman a slave, but in terms of directing her, making her secure under his custody and aware that he is able to take care of her needs.

“For the woman, submission comes with a lot of respect, humility and love, not subordination, slavery or suffering. Submission means that even though a woman has the power and capacity to rule and lead, she does it under her husband. In essence, women are advised to be the neck while the husband is the head as every head functions well with the help of a neck.”

While emphasising on the different personality types in marriage, she explained that everybody has a good and bad side, but understanding what a godly marriage is about alongside conscious and deliberate decision to make it work salvages the situation.

“In marriage, couples shouldn’t focus on each other’s weaknesses but compliment them. Also, understanding demands and weaknesses in marriage make it work perfectly.”

She, however, noted that, for a godly marriage, there is a need to seek counsel and guidance while choosing a partner.

“God can direct, lead and guide, but he stopped choosing in the Garden of Eden. Marriage is honourable and should be enjoyed not endured. Forgiveness, validation, reaction over response, ability to say sorry, intimacy, intentionality, priority, seeking a godly partner over a perfect one and most importantly, the God factor are key ingredients to a peaceful and lasting marriage.”