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Our men play too much!

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Some days back, a story broke out about a Nigerian man that gave his wife unforgettable treatment… after finding out that he’s not the biological father of their three children.

It was gathered that the man, who is also a citizen of Canada, came home in order to get his wife and children visas to enable them join him in Canada.

But things were said to have taken a dramatic turn when the Canadian Embassy requested a DNA test to prove that the kids he wants to take to Canada are really his own.

It was alleged that when the DNA results came out, he was shocked that he is not the biological father of all the three children. The disappointed man got angry and battered his wife to stupor…knocking out four teeth from her mouth in the process.

Unfortunately, a moment of unrestrained anger has made him the monster in a story that has him actually has him as the victim.
Victim of mindless infidelity…one would say!

When I said that he should have just divorced her and move on, a friend replied: “I guess human emotions can’t be controlled when left to get out of hand.”

True but that could have also sealed his fate for life…if he had killed her. The beating that knocked off some teeth could KILL!
A better punishment would have been to divorce her and move on with ALL he brings to the table, especially if her adulterous life is hinged on what trickles down from him.

You simply switch off the tap and leave her to her wiles…ain’t no punishment more than that?!
As for the children, it’s best to let them go with their mother. Most men that will keep children from such circumstances will likely be doing so as a PUNISHMENT to the woman.

Otherwise, a lot of men, especially in this environment, are not capable of loving kids that didn’t come from them biologically…forget the social media “brave talks.”

May this also make people reconsider long distance marriages especially the types in which “hubby” visits for two weeks every two years.This body is not firewood oo. It’s still BLOOD that runs through the veins.

Do we advise such men to begin to use their “church-mind’’ to appoint assistant husbands… to attend to ogbanje hormones while they are away?
Frankly, our men play too much! I doubt if all that stress of “living there” and “marrying here” is often worth it. You find a GOOD soul wherever you find yourself and then work towards a good life together.

Marriage is a lot more than “who comes from where I come from.’’

Another friend’s experience…
They met themselves on the social media. According to him…she said the right things, quick to understand unfavourable situations and of course-she has the right looks.

Naturally, he convinced himself that she was the one and he came home to perform the marriage rites on her. The understanding was that he would go back and take his time to begin the process of her joining him over there. He even managed to put her in the family way before returning to his base.

Oh…did I also mention that she read the “right” course in school? Yes! Yes! You guessed right…NURSING.
Well, it’s been six years since he hung a tag of “Mrs” on her neck and the talk is not that of her (and their daughter) joining him again.

The talk (sadly) is a dissolution of that marriage, in which he has only been home twice to consummate.

According to him, she is not exactly that innocent dove he once thought he married…she is more expensive to maintain than any lady that he’s actually dated, including the ones that work for their money overseas.

He also said that as soon as she had their baby. Her monthly monetary demands quadrupled. So much so that a chunk of what he makes (monthly) over there actually goes to her upkeep.

“Isn’t she supposed to be working too?’’…he always asked.

She claimed that they pay her peanuts as salary and, even at that, she supports her people with same.

As things stand now, they barely talk. He still sends stuffs for his daughter. His people have been given the go-ahead to nullify the marriage…so that she can also move on with her life, as she has indicated.

And right now?
He is in a relationship with someone he met over there, whom he described thus, “a lovely Christian lady, who understands how the system here (overseas) works and who works hard for her money.”

Really? Now my question…
Is considering the lovely ladies (who understand how the systems over there work) always an afterthought? Probably when someone’s fingers have been burnt back home!


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Chukwuneta Oby
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