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Public showcase of attention, the worst form of abuse


Toyota Bus stop, Ladipo, Oshodi, Lagos PHOTO: GBENGA AKINFENWA

Walking pass the busy Ladipo market in Lagos, everyday and receiving so much attention from men, calculatingly having themselves on me and wanting to throw compliments at me, some even referring to me as “Nwa baby” (baby doll), ordinarily would have meant the world to me as a young girl.

This should have been because most of these men are “my brothers” from Igbo land and I should be ashamed to fault “my own people” but sincerely it doesn’t take away the juice from the orange.

It disgusts me right through my gullet that I am pushed to ask. Who are these silly disrespectful good-for-nothing men that feel the world revolves around women?


Until I started working in an environment dominated by men, I never saw public showcase of attention as an emotional or sexual abuse.

Getting attention is a wonderful feeling to have as a woman, this is because we love to be noticed and cared for, but what do you do when the attention become your worst abuse.

Some attention women get in most public places in Nigeria is just an avenue where abusive men showcase their internal evil nature; they are not helpful but very destructive.

They admire you in public, want to be identified with you, they chorus how beautiful you are in public and simply sing your praise, and then you think they are interested in you? They are just making you vulnerable by the day.

Women especially the young ones should and must scowl against public display of attention by random men on the streets. If any man finds you attractive and worthy to be acquainted with, then he should walk up to you sanely and express it personally otherwise, abuse becomes the end upshot.

The nervous and repressive feeling you get each time a group of men publicly make advances at you is not your woman power in action but a public showcase of the abusiveness in them.

These feelings will gradually bring a girl to vulnerability and ruination; women need to grow a thick skin against it because these outbursts of attention are the bedrock of abuse in our country.

Do not ever put a smiley face when they approach you, you might regret ever doing so afterwards.

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