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Chasing shadows…


Blessed is any woman, who recognises the ‘favour’ in her life and actually appreciates such, happiness will never be far from such a woman. But a foolish woman is the one that would readily trade substance for some ephemeral settings…those are the kind of women that are perpetually in search of happiness that they can’t seem to find…because they keep looking in the wrong places.

Pleasure is good but certain pleasures are never meant to take the place of substance and anyone who goes for substance knows that certain amount of sacrifice is involved.

A matter was brought before an elderly person in my family sometime back. The matter involved an extended family member and his ‘thick madam’ wife…apparently this relative of mine told the woman that he was done with the marriage and the woman made it clear that it’s over her dead body that he would walk away from her-having made her lose what she called ‘a lot,’ in a bid to be with him.


This last part of her threat to my relative aroused my interest in the matter and I started my investigation on the woman. Indeed, she lost a lot to be with a ‘fine boy!’

The woman actually walked out on a man whose decency, hardwork and comfort that those I interrogated attested to, and the three kids of the marriage, to be with ‘fine boy’. According to those that know her…she claimed that life with the former husband was boring, despite the fact that he seemed a good provider and decent to a fault.

She said that the ‘fine boy’ she left her family for is a lot more exciting-in every sense of the word…if you know what I mean. The bubble only burst when her ‘fine bobo’ began to sample a few of her friends (who were probably on the lookout for some excitement as well…don’t birds of the same feather flock together again?) and when she got to know about it-she threw him out!

Realising that she could not stay without him for long, she asked him to come back…and ‘fine boy’ (who seems to have found his feet) said that he was actually done with the marriage. That was what led to the threat she issued to him.It baffles me non-stop that any woman would rather throw away substance (MEN who are worth their onions) – for ephemeral pleasures that have never gotten anybody anywhere.

Any woman that is not foolish only needs to look at the number of ‘bunkums’ out there to appreciate that hardworking man in her life…even if he neither has a movie star looks nor ‘bangs’ you senseless!

This next gist is actually one of the cases that came up on a day that I was in court.According to the testimony of the woman in the witness stand, their wahala started because her husband rented a shop (against her preference of having one bought) for her… she felt he can afford it. When she was asked if she knew what her husband’s monthly income is –she said ‘no’ but was quick to point out that his family business fetches the entire family a lot of income.

I didn’t stop shaking my head.
This woman could let things get out of hand because her husband rented (rather than buy) a shop for her!It mattered not that she at least has a shop, even if it was not bought yet, to operate from.

That same man was said to have bought her two SUVs, moved her from their rented apartment in Parkview estate to the property he bought at Lekki, and hell was still let loose because he dared rent her a shop instead of buying one…according to the Lawyer that was cross-examining her.

When asked what she wants the court to do for her-she prayed the court NOT to dissolve the marriage…meaning that she is still interested in the marriage. But the problem is that the husband has made it clear to the court that he would rather drink POISON -than remain married to her.


Not a few women in that courtroom exchanged surprised looks (me…I wore my own DISGUST on my sleeves!) as the counsel cross-examining her was reeling off the things the husband did for her. None of which she showed any appreciation for but was rather making trouble with even his people.

I am most certain that what was going on in the minds of my fellow women in that courtroom was IF ONLY-I HAD HALF OF WHAT THIS INGRATE HAS.Surprisingly, most of us will still misbehave if we find ourselves in her shoes!

That is why I opined earlier that it is indeed a blessing to recognise the favours in one’s life but it is a bigger blessing to be appreciative of such favours.

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