Here we go pre-nuptal!!!

After learning the circumstances that led to my marriage to TK, I became very paranoid. I didn’t know what to do so I acted normal, I did not tell anyone what I had discovered and I did not confront TK. I simply waited for the right time or opportunity to make a move and get myself out of the web of deceit that was continually being spun around me.

TK eventually swallowed his pride and allowed his mother to intervene. Dear Diary, she made our lives a living hell afterwards. She would call at odd hours, demanding for TK’s presence at meetings and making all sorts of unreasonable requests to emotionally blackmail him. TK was frustrated so of course he was constantly taking it out on me. Eventually, between her lawyers, bankers and TK’s management team they were able to structure a payment plan to the creditors and settle out of court. She singlehandedly mobilized the first payment and we were able to breathe easy at least for a while. Non-disclosure agreements were signed and all the parties involved agreed the matter would not be escalated as long as the payment schedule was adhered to.

The ugly matter was being put to rest but my heart was still uneasy and I was constantly suspicious of my husband’s actions. I was trying to find a copy of the pre-nup I had signed before the marriage to understand what TK’s conversation with Femi that day meant. If I didn’t understand it, I couldn’t make any moves to leave the marriage because I wasn’t sure what I was up against. I had signed the pre-nup a few days to the wedding, because TK had told me it was a family tradition and wasn’t anything serious. I now realized how naïve I had been for not having a lawyer review it or even requesting for a copy for myself. To me I was proving to him that I wasn’t marrying him for the money.

How foolish of me! I couldn’t find the pre-nup anywhere and I couldn’t ask TK for it without having to explain why I wanted it. I eventually got an opportunity to get the information I needed. TK’s younger brother Tomiwa had just gotten married and The Duchess was hosting a reception for them in the villa one Sunday afternoon after their church thanksgiving. If the pre-nup was a standard Ayo-Kensington tradition, then the new bride Adaobi must have signed one too. Hopefully she was not as foolish as I had been. During the reception, I spotted her standing alone receiving a phone call; I quickly went up to her when I noticed she was off the phone.
Me: Welcome to the family once again Adaobi.

I said opening my arms for a hug. We hugged and then she said;Adaobi: Thank you so much Anjola. It’s nice to know I’m not alone in all this. The Duchess is so intimidating sometimes.I laughed out loud Me: My dear get used to it. I don’t think she means any harm it’s just her personality. Adaobi: Hmmmmm…You know I’m not as tough as you. I don’t think I could put up with her tantrums.

Me: You will learn to deal with it my dear.I was desperately looking for an opportunity to bring up the pre-nup and then the opportunity presented itself. Adaobi: She seems to totally adore Oladunni though. Maybe when we start having kids she would be a little warmer towards me.
Me: Oh yes! She loves Oladunni, and I’m sure she can’t wait to have more grandchildren.

I winked at her and she blushed.Adaobi: You know I’m a bit worried about the pre-nup I had to sign. Did you sign one too?
Me: Yes I did. It’s a family tradition or so I was told.Adaobi: I know but did you understand the last clause on the terms of divorce? I’m beginning to think I should have contested it.

Me: Why? What’s your reservation about it?Adaobi: So if I file for a divorce that means I can’t fight for custody of any child I conceived during the marriage and Tomiwa gets to be the sole executor of our children’s trust fund meaning I would be cut off. It’s a bit too much considering the fact that I am not even allowed to continue my career. I used to be a banker you know, but he is absolutely amazing and treats me like a princess I only hope that never changes.

There! I had gotten the information I needed. So leaving TK meant forfeiting custody of Oladunni.I assured Adaobi that it was nothing to worry about and the conversation ended there. It was later that night that it occurred to me why TK had said the pre-nup wasn’t foolproof. If according to Adaobi, I would have to forfeit custody of children conceived in marriage then there was a loophole. Oladunni had been conceived outside marriage but had been born afterwards; if the pre-nup was specific about children conceived in marriage then technically it was contestable except TK would still be the sole executor of her trust fund which meant he could cut her off from her inheritance. This was a decision I would have to make for my child. If I wanted out of this marriage, it would be a dirty battle because I knew any court would find TK the better provider for her. I didn’t have a job, a business or any source of income.

No wonder Ayo-Kensington wives were forbidden to work! It wasn’t a status thing and it wasn’t a gift to the wives it was a trap to ensure you had to put up with whatever the marriage presented you.I felt trapped and I was still unsure if it was a good idea to confront TK about all the information I now had. He had been so nice, sweet and romantic and all but I just couldn’t trust him!

One evening, he took me to dinner and a movie. He went all out and I had a good time. When we got back home he said:TK: Anjie thank you so much for your support through this trying time. I couldn’t have gotten out of that mess without you. Knowing how my mother has treated you in the past, you going to ask for her help just showed me how far you were willing to go for our family and I will never forget it.

Me: You don’t have to thank me. I made a vow to support you in sickness and in health for richer and poorer.I was going to stop there but I found his whole speech so hypocritical I had to continue Me: …and unlike some people I actually meant those vows and I intend to honour them at least while I am in this marriage.

TK: What do you mean by that? Are you considering leaving me?
Me: Should I consider staying with you, given what I know about your reasons for marrying me?
TK: Anjola I love you. Maybe at first my reasons for being with you were a bit selfish but I honestly do love you. We have just never been in a place where I could really show you how much I do. It’s always one issue or another. I’m hoping now we can put it all behind us and focus on enjoying our life together.

Me: TK drop the act! I know about the plot to get me pregnant, I know about your plan to use Oladunni’s trust fund which you conveniently forgot to mention to me to bail yourself out of the mess and I know about the pre-nup you made me sign without giving me a copy or allowing me review it. Don’t even deny it because I heard it right out of your own mouth one day when you were on the phone with your partner in crime Femi!  You were using me and I am sure you still have some sick twisted plan that’s the only reason I am still here! The minute you don’t need me anymore I know I’m out in the cold! But let me warn you, I won’t leave without a fight and I won’t leave without my daughter!

TK just stood there with his eyes wide open in disbelief. I was going to walk away he grabbed my arm and got on his two knees
TK: Anjola Ayo-Kensington, I have wronged you and I am sorry. Please find it in your heart to forgive me I beg you in the name of all that is good. Me: TK why me? You could have had any other woman you wanted. Why did you choose to do this to me? Did you think so little of me to believe I deserved this?

TK: No Anjolaoluwa. On the contrary, I thought the world of you, I still do. From the first time I met you at that party I have thought the world of you. Even though I needed a child, I wasn’t going to have one with just any woman. I wanted the child with someone I could trust to raise my child and who better than you. You’re amazing Anjola. You have been everything a man could ask for and I have been a total idiot from day one. Please forgive me. I felt my heart melting but I still did not trust him. I don’t know where the next words came from I hadn’t planned to say them the same way I hadn’t planned to have the entire conversation.

Me: TK I need some time off. I need to clear my head and decide what I want. I can’t think with you around trying to be my prince charming. The next day I packed some of my things and moved to my old flat in the company guest house which had been vacant since I moved out. I went with Oladunni and her nanny. I had asked TK not to come but he kept calling and sending messages about how empty he was without Oladunni and I. I told my dear friend Linda what was going on, I didn’t give her the full details I only told her I was considering leaving my husband and had moved out temporarily. I was so depressed at the state of my life, Linda being a dear friend would stop by to keep me company or take Oladunni and I out with her own kids. I was wondering how long I was going to remain in limbo when I got a surprise visit that helped me make up my mind.
Two weeks after I moved out of the house, I was lying on the couch in the living room watching cartoons with Oladunni when the doorbell rang. I went to open the door and standing in the doorway was The Duchess herself!

She walked past me and straight into the living room; her fragrance instantly filled the whole room. She picked Oladunni up from her play pen and sat down.
Me: Good Afternoon Ma
The Duchess: Is it possible for you to get decent clothing for this child? Why is she dressed like this?
She looked me over and shook her head
The Duchess: There is no point expecting you to have better taste. I will do the shopping myself when I travel this week.
Me: Ok ma. Thank you.

The Duchess: So Adetokunboh’s mansion was too big for you? You’re too used to tiny cubicles like this right?
Me: That’s not the case ma. I just needed space.
She laughed in a very sarcastic manner
The Duchess: You are married to one of the most sought after men in the state and you need space. You amaze me.
Me: You don’t understand ma. We have some issues we need to work out.
The Duchess: And what married couple doesn’t? Come on Anjolaoluwa! You are not a child and I will not have this. If you want to be married to my son, you cannot be living apart. I won’t condone it!
Me: With all due respect ma, this is between my husband and me.

The Duchess: So was the issue that almost drove him bankrupt but you did the sensible thing. You listened to counsel and you approached me now it’s sorted.
Yes dear diary! She actually paid me a compliment at least I took her calling me “sensible” as a compliment! Lol.
Me: This is complicated.
The Duchess: Look he has told me what happened. It’s in the past, he says he loves you and wants you back blah blah blah…since that’s the nonsense you need to hear, I’ve told you. Now take my grandchild out of this rat hole and go home.
Me: Please did TK ask you to speak to me?
She rolled her eyes…

The Duchess: Yes he did! I found it absolutely appalling. He looks like a train wreck and he won’t let me breathe. My son never asks me for help or my opinion when it comes to women so this one time he has done so I have to make sure I deliver. So you will pack your things and return to your husband’s house today.

Me: What is in it for you? Because I know if you had your way you would get rid of me.
The Duchess: Gaining my son’s trust that is what is in it for me and you are becoming very feisty. Why all the questions? Just pack your things and let’s go.

Of course there was no arguing with her. She played with her grandchild while I packed my things and we all went back to the house together. TK was obviously happy and he won my heart that day but how much longer he has it, I cannot guarantee…why life can’t ever just turn out the way you planned?