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Reminiscing…#sex education

By Chukwuneta Oby
04 August 2018   |   4:19 am
The efforts of modern mums and teachers on SEX EDUCATION is worth commending, frankly.

The efforts of modern mums and teachers on SEX EDUCATION is worth commending, frankly.

In our own time…

The semblance of sex education that most of us received (from mothers, especially) was… “NOT IN MY HOUSE.’’

“It is NOT IN MY HOUSE that you will bring in unwanted pregnancy.’’
“It is NOT IN MY HOUSE that a boy/girl will come and look for you. Boys and girls cannot be friends.’’
“It is NOT IN MY HOUSE that any ‘shame-fetching’ attitude from you- will be tolerated.’’

Then, the teachers in primary school that would manage to graze the issue, would come up with lines like “when a girl is in her FLOWER (whatever that means), and she lets a boy TOUCH her…she will just end up with unwanted pregnancy and bring shame to her parents.’’

Our poor innocent minds!

The ‘a boy’s TOUCH =unwanted pregnancy’ talks were literally held by our young minds, so much so that if you were seated near a boy in class, impulsively, you would shift to the extreme end of the seat.

On the play ground…you SLAP OFF the hand of any boy that dared touch yours. And you would refuse to join in, on any play that boys partook in. The boy that often elicited a shy smile from you would harvest a ‘straight face’ from you on that day.

A lot of our teachers in secondary school managed to go near the issue only during Biology lessons on REPRODUCTIVE system. And such lessons usually left us giggling (squirming actually) uncomfortably in our seats.

A friend said that for the most part of her adolescent years, she masked most forms of ‘unwellness’ (malaria, headache and especially stomach upset) from the mother.

Any of those incidents could fetch her ‘’COME AND TELL ME WHAT YOU HAVE GONE TO DO WITH YOUR BODY’’…while being pulled by the ear.

Another said that they (five girls!) had never seen a certain River in their place, but whatever dread the river portends- was strongly etched in their young minds.
…thanks to their mother’s constant threat of throwing whoever brought shame to her into that river.

My sister swore that Mama had mellowed (thanks to age!) by the time I came along. Who are you to have a boy/girl visit you in her house?

There was an incident that I witnessed when I was quite young.

Apparently, my brother didn’t calculate Mama’s movement around the house well… before inviting a lady over. Even small me (then) felt so sorry for the lady that ‘cat-walked’ towards Mama with a ‘’Good afternoon, Mama.’’

Mama answered o. But when the lady said whom (my brother) she had come to see, it was Mama’s long-drawn (with a gesture of the hand) ‘’GO BACK’’, that sent her on her heels.

SORRY was truly meant for those of us with ‘them mothers’.

Remembering how my first brown powder (SWEET SIXTEEN or so), that one of my sisters secretly gave me …ended up in the dustbin. Mama had detected a ‘non-white powder’ on my face-as I got ready for ‘JUNIOR WAEC lesson’.

In fact, water was still dripping from my washed face as I left home on that day!!!

In the words of a friend…

“A lot has really changed. But honestly, is it a positive change or negative change?

Still scratching my head. Even with all the sex education now, the rate of unwanted pregnancies is 10 times higher. The spread of sexually transmitted diseases now is alarming. The recklessness in sexual activities is also mind-boggling. Promiscuity and adultery is the order of the day. And so many other ills that abound now which were minute or rarely heard of in those days.

“So my question is… how has the society benefitted from this over-hyped sex education?
Is the society better now than before? Why would I bog my two or three-year-old kid with sex education when there are so many things to learn? What would a toddler learn from sex education?
I’m up for such education but at a proper age…when the child will understand what the topic is all about.’’

Some people embark on that (sex education) early these days with their kids before someone out there beats them to it and the child picks the wrong version of the “learning.”

The outside world is always there to TWIST things…to an innocent mind. Someone out there is ever ready to teach a child what parents failed to teach the child.

I know that oftentimes, kids are powerless towards their molesters. But sometimes, being aware that they shouldn’t be touched in certain ways helps them raise alarms-when touched inappropriately.

With the “all manner of entertainments” on the internet, Television, etc… it’s never too early to start guiding them aright.

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