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Shades of dignity…


The incident is said to have taken place in a particular community many years back. A famous hunter gathered his kinsmen to report his wife (of three months)…claiming that her ‘something’ is too wide and that meant only one thing…she has been doing it with other men.

He then urged his kinsmen to subject her to an oath taking (meant to incur the wrath of the gods)-if she cannot willingly divulge the names of those that she has been ‘sharing’ his property with.

Amidst all the name-calling (that were being heaped on the woman) by those that gathered to judge her…only one man raised his hand and asked to address the hunter.

The silence that greeted his boldness-for daring the famous hunter- was such that one could hear a pin drop.


So, the man looked the hunter in the eye and said: “We agree that your wife should prove her innocence by oath taking but justice should also be seen to have taken place in this gathering today, if we all learn how big/small your something is. Because, if your instrument is small-her valley will naturally seem too wide for it…it does not mean that she has been sampling other men. It means just one thing…your instrument is not big enough to occupy her ‘space’…this assertion was greeted with so much cheers by those that had (otherwise) gathered to ‘cast stone’.

The hunter was said to have walked back home-with his gaze fixed on the ground-he never looked up for once, not even to acknowledge the greetings of passers-by.

The accused woman only went back to his house to pick every pin that belonged to her, left his home and never stopped thanking the gods for the divine liberation that came her way.

It was thereafter that she was said to have told some people that the hunter’s ‘instrument’ was so small that she often wondered which of her parents’ enemies has cast a wicked spell for her parents to betroth her to a man of small size.

Being a great beauty, it did not take long for suitors to come looking her way again, but it was alleged that every suitor that came her way was subjected to what she called A PRIVATE SESSION…if loosely translated to English.

The men who passed through her sessions claimed that whatever took place at such moments was aimed at one thing-determining the size of a man’s instrument-when fully erect.
And you guessed right!
Many ‘candidates’ were turned down.

This went on for many months…until news of the woman’s ‘sessions’ reached the entire community and beyond…a lot of men began to go to her in secret…not with marriage proposals anymore but for something else…PLEASURE.

That was how she became the PLEASURE MADAME of the community. It was said that she never married again!

Of course, the ‘good girls’ in the community avoided her like plague, even though a lot of them admired her (in secret) and even went to her for tips on how to keep a man smiling-in the bedroom.

She went on to become so influential in the community that a visit from her to the king had the ‘council of elders’ reversing whatever decrees she did not find favourable.

This is one of the many stories (of the old) that I find most applicable to relationships of today.

It is easy to point out the fault of another but easiest to remain blind to your own shortcomings. It also shows how certain life experiences end up shaping the rest of one’s life.

DIGNITY (mostly dictated by one’s values) holds different meanings to people.

In this clime…

It’s often made to look like any woman that refuses to deal repeatedly with a man’s excesses is playing with fire.

A popular figure in this environment…his wife separated from him, on learning that he actually fathered more than five kids with three women…all the while they have been married. Meanwhile, they have just two kids between them.


Most people that commented on the issue (on a blog) called the woman names for daring to walk away from what they call WEALTH.

I do not see anything wrong in the woman’s action.

To me, that is a woman that has finally realised that her happiness and peace of mind are worth more than all the millions in her randy husband’s bank account.

No one knows (yet) the many sexually transmitted diseases that she’s had to treat…courtesy of his restless third leg.

At what point does RESPECT (for a spouse and what you share…i.e. the marriage) come into play? What kind of love brings more disrespect and heartache than peace?

Sometimes, it boils down to what each person holds dear…if MONEY TALKS WHILE BULLSHIT WORKS FOR YOU…some other person will gladly WALK AWAY with their dignity intact!

In this article:
Chukwuneta ObyDignity
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