The Guardian
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DIARYYou know how they say sometimes people go into shock and they can’t account for a specific timeframe, because they have absolutely no recollection of what happened during that period…well that does happen! I had no idea how I got to the hospital, I just somehow found myself sitting in the waiting room of the Ayo-Kessington family hospital and I was completely lost!

Shortly after I realised where I was, TK came rushing in. He ran and pulled me up into a bear hug.
TK: Thank you so much Anjola. If you weren’t there, we would have lost her.
Why was TK thanking me? Wasn’t he aware that The Duchess had been screaming at me, when it happened? Shouldn’t he have been blaming me for provoking his mother?
TK: Are you ok?

I still didn’t respond and so he shook me back into reality and that was when the memories came flooding in. When The Duchess had collapsed in front of me, I rushed to her side and like I had seen on TV, I started undoing the buttons of her blouse– I had read somewhere that tight clothing should be loosened in the case of a heart attack. I felt her chest for a heartbeat, she was still alive but unconscious.

I remembered thinking of running outside to try and get her driver to take her to the hospital, but considering the size of The Villa, I knew it probably would have taken me a few minutes to find him and I did not have his number. I tried my best to lift The Duchess up; she was heavier than she looked. I was able to get her to the doorway, but I knew I was losing precious time.

So, I ran all the way from her private quarters to the main house. I met the gardener at the entrance and alerted him. We ran back to her quarters and carried her together to my car, which was parked in the driveway. I personally drove her to the hospital. On our way out, I drove past her driver and shouted to him to call TK and the rest of the family to meet us in the hospital. When I realised all that had happened, I burst into tears.
TK: Sorry my baby. I can only imagine how scared you were.
I was still in shock, so I didn’t respond.
TK: Just wait here, I need to speak with the Doctor.

Shortly after TK’s dad and sister came in, and we all went to join TK in the doctor’s office.

The Duchess had suffered a mild heart attack and she was going to be okay, but they were keeping her in the hospital for a while under observation. TK’s family was extremely grateful for my speedy action towards getting The Duchess to the hospital. Only TK’s dad was allowed to go in to see her, even though she was asleep and so the rest of us left. I was so shaken up when we got home, TK ran me a hot bath and made me tea to calm my nerves and then I went to bed.

All the while, I kept thinking The Duchess could have died right in front of me and I would never have had another opportunity to make things right with her. The incidence also made me realise how easy it was to lose someone forever, just like that without any warning or signs.It made me realise also how much I wanted to meet my father before it was too late.

The next day, we all went to the hospital to see The Duchess. She looked so small and fragile my heart went out to her. She couldn’t talk much, but she looked like she was genuinely happy to see everyone, especially Oladunni and her cousins, who were constantly asking why their grandma had tubes in her nose. After the visit to the hospital, I knew I had to tell TK how I was feeling.

TK: Are you okay dear? You’ve been awfully quiet since yesterday.
Me: TK I’m scared.
TK: Of what?
Me: I’m scared that I could lose you or Oladunni or my brother. I mean one minute we were having a conversation and the next thing she collapsed just like that.
TK: Don’t be scared, we are not going anywhere Anjola and neither are you.
Me: TK, I want to meet my dad. What if I wait for the right time and something like this happens to him and it’s too late?
TK: I understand how you feel, but Anjola I don’t think it’s a good idea. You have to be prepared for it.
Me: Prepared for what?
TK: Has it occurred to you that he might not want to meet you? If not, why has he not come to you all this while? After all, he has known where you were all along.

I had considered the fact that he might not want to see me and it was scary, but I didn’t expect that TK would actually say it. I was hurt!
Me: How can you say something like that? Is there anything that Oladunni or the child in my belly would do that could make you not want a relationship with them?
TK: Child in your belly? Are you pregnant Anjola?
At TK’s response, I realised what I had said.
Me: Yes. I was going to tell you, but I was scared.
§TK: Scared that what? Didn’t we make the baby together?
Me: It was that day I came to your office, you know I had gone off the pill then. When I found out, I thought you would think it was a plot to win you back. I wanted you to take me back because you love me, and not because I am pregnant. You married me because I was pregnant, I didn’t want you to take me back for the same reason.
TK: Oh my God Anjola! Are we back here? Can’t you just believe me, when I say I love you and I am here because I love you?

I had my insecurities about our marriage and as TK had opened up to me about his feelings, when I moved back, it was time for me to open up about mine.
Me: Tokunboh, I don’t fit into your world. I never have and probably never will. Sometimes I wonder if you feel you made a mistake marrying me. I wonder if you feel you could have done better. You are from a prominent family, you are well read, well travelled, you’ve seen the world. You know people I have only read about in the tabloids. I grew up in a flat with my mother and brother, and then I lived with my aunt and then in a tiny two-bedroom apartment with my brother in Akoka. That’s the life I have known. Your mother is right; I know where you would be now, if you were married to someone from your world. I am constantly fighting one battle or the other and I do it because I love you, but you have to understand that it brings insecurities with it.
TK: Come on! I have tried to make you a part of my world!
Me: I know, but it’s hard. When we go out with your friends, sometimes I am intimidated. They are all high fliers doing big things for themselves and I am nobody next to them. I am just TK’s wife! It’s not that being your wife is not enough, but it’s just that I feel that is all there is to me.

TK: What is this about Anjola? Do you want to work? Do you want a career? Is that it?
Me: I don’t know. I just feel I could be doing so much more with my life.
TK: You knew this was part of the package; you signed a pre-nup!
Me: TK, I know and I am not blaming you. I am just telling you how I feel. Don’t get upset just try to understand please. TK: Ok. First of all, I don’t know why you let yourself think that anyone is better than you. Having a famous last name or a bigger account balance doesn’t make you better than anyone. In fact, sometimes it is a problem and you have my family as an example of what can happen, when you allow money and power shape your character. Secondly, I have never imagined myself with a working wife. Ayo-Kessington wives don’t work. My mother inherited a fortune and she invested it in various businesses. She has never had an active career. If you have projects you want to invest in, that’s fine, but as for having a full career that takes you out every day, that’s off the table. Oladunni and her brother or sister and this marriage are what you should channel your energy towards.
Me: TK, you don’t understand! When you left me, I had no money, nowhere to live. I was living in your friend’s apartment in Oniru and I’m sure you know it! Without you I am nothing!

TK: Well that has changed, now you are the daughter of a billionaire.
Me: I am the illegitimate child of a billionaire, who according to you may not want anything to do with me.
TK: Anjola what is this? We are in a good place and like you always do, you have found some form of drama to ruin it!
Me: You are in a good place. My head is messed up TK; I want a life that doesn’t revolve around you.
TK: Is this about your father? If it is, please by all means go and see him and drop this nonsense!
Me: TK, I love you and I want this marriage to work. So, you have to meet me halfway because that’s the only way it would.
TK: Agreed and I also want to make this work. So, what’s halfway to you?
Me: These are my terms:
1) I want to be allowed to pursue an active career of my choice. However, I will ensure it is not too demanding, so I can balance it with running our home and raising our kids.
2) I want a place on the board of your company, as a non-executive director. If you are in for the long haul like you say you are, then you should have no problem with me ensuring that I will be well taken care of, regardless of whether or not you choose to remain in this marriage.
3) I want a relationship with my father and your family is going to have to deal with it. I refuse to choose between pursuing a relationship with my father and my husband. I want both and it is up to you to decide how to make that work.

TK: Wow! You want to play hardball right?
Me: Baby, that’s the only way I play.
TK: Ok Lady Boss, while you are at it, be informed that Bella, my daughter, is moving in with us tomorrow.

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