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That give-away saga


The gist is that someone reached out to an actress, indicating interest to use her platform to give away 500K (at 5K each) to 100 Nigerians as his own palliative in these trying times.

According to the evidence of their chats released…the actress asked for 150K charges for her efforts.

You see, I picked a very important lesson early in life, and it was a phrase in a letter that our eldest sister wrote to one of our brothers.


The phrase? “You don’t hug every dime that comes your way.” My curious younger self came across that letter by chance (after the recipient discarded it) but that phrase made an impact.

As one grows (bigger in life) …living by that maxim becomes even more “called for.” Sometimes, you turn a blind eye to the goody bag…especially when it’s meant to benefit those who need it more than you do.

Our actress may not have the time to do 100 transfers, which incurs bank charges, by the way. But I expected her to point this out to the “good Samaritan” and then suggest compensating whoever was going to assist her with the task, from the funds. Not sure the man had objected to that.

To think, “what of my 150K charge,” could stand in the way of a much-needed lifeline is kind of LOW!

Another unfortunate realisation is this…TRUE compassion hardly resides where we are quick to seek it. It is still in this country that some persons fed fat (to the tune of millions) over the plight of Internally Displaced Persons (IDPs).


What was so pathetic about the saga is that these are people who don’t even need that money! I mean, they are part of the government and, in Nigeria, once you are close to the government of the day, you automatically lack for nothing.

A few years back, I had approached a pastor friend because I wanted him to help me match-make a friend, whose single status has made her a victim of “love scumbags.”

He took just one look at her picture and said, “she looks old.”

I decided to throw in a bait and casually mentioned her job (a big one) and the part of Lagos highbrow that she resides in.

His response? “Okay. Tell her to come see me.”


I shut down!!! The incident relayed a lot to me. No compassionate soul takes one look at a picture and decides someone isn’t “worthy” of their heart’s desire. Who knows if I am still being talked to because I don’t look “old”, yet?

It doesn’t have to happen to me for me to know better. Most times, people tell you who they are by the way they handle settings where they have the upper hand.

Much as I do not know the motive behind a supposed charity with a requested “social media mentions,” it is my conviction that any charity in these times is better than none, frankly.

In narrating her ordeal to me, a young friend wrote recently: “I was personally introduced to a priest to help with my job hunting. I warmed up to him, “DADDYing” him all over the place. I was running his errands as well.

When I saw a job opening somewhere, I thought he could use his influence to put in a word for me. The organisation has links to the church. He promised to do so. But I also noticed something in his demeanour towards me.


“Today he would say, “come and hug me,” when I enter his office. The next day, he would attempt rubbing my buttocks or pressing his chest against mine. He always gave me weekly stipends for my upkeep.

“At a time, I even begged him to introduce me to a husband material from the church…maybe marriage will make life easy for me. The man said to me, “I have to see what that place (my ‘down there’) looks like first.

“I was dying inside of me but I was new in town, no job, and really struggling to feed. As the New Year came, I made a resolve…that all that ‘rubbing and pressing’ have to stop. If God doesn’t see it fit for him to assist me, despite my academic excellence, so be it.

“So, I began to make myself unavailable to the priest. I started going to places to submit my CV. Most times, I would go help out at somebody’s office-just to beat idleness.

“Just four weeks ago. I received a call from an organization offering me immediate employment. You won’t believe that the job (graphics design) that I did to ‘pass time’ earned me a recommendation and immediate employment.

“I have since started working and enjoying the experience. But the bitter taste of my experience with the ‘man of God’ is yet to leave my mouth.’’


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