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The easiest way to happiness…


It was one of the cases that came up on a day that I was in court. According to the testimony of the woman in the witness stand…their wahala started when her husband rented a shop (against her preference of having one bought) for her. She felt he could afford it.

When she was asked if she knew what her husband’s monthly income is –she said NO but was quick to tell the court that “their family business,which he runs with his mum and siblings, fetches them a lot of money.’’

I didn’t stop shaking my head.

It mattered not that she at least has a shop (even if it was not bought, yet) to operate from.

It was also revealed that it was a tug of war to get her to agree to move from the rented accommodation they occupied at a high-brow area to another part of town. That same man was said to have also bought her a second car…an SUV, and hell was still let loose because he dared rent her a shop instead of buying one, according to the Lawyer that was cross-examining her.


None of which she denied.

Her major grouse seemed to be centered on the fact that the husband could easily afford to buy the shop she wanted but he would rather listen to his folks who dictated what he should or should not do for his wife.

When asked what she wants the court to do for her, she prayed the court NOT to dissolve the marriage…meaning that she is still interested in the marriage. But the problem is that the husband has made it clear to the court that he would rather drink POISON than remain married to her.

Not a few women in that courtroom exchanged surprised looks as the counsel cross-examining her was reeling off the “largesse,” that the husband extended to even her folks.

I am most certain that what was going on in the minds of some women in that courtroom was IF ONLY I HAD HALF OF WHAT SHE HAS. Surprisingly, a lot of us will still ‘misbehave’- if we find ourselves in her shoes!

For some reason, APPRECIATION doesn’t come naturally to some people. It is easier for them to dwell on ‘what is lacking’.
That is why I will always say that it is, indeed, a blessing to recognise the favours in one’s life BUT it is a bigger blessing to be able to appreciate them.

If nothing is ever enough for you,
If you hardly see ‘good’ in anybody,
If you are always comparing and competing,
If you are always ‘wanting’ rather than ‘appreciating’,
…then, yours is an ungrateful heart.
Always remember that someone somewhere is praying for one-tenth of what you have. That which you take for granted will always be a MIRACLE to someone somewhere. And learn to be grateful…especially when you consider that you are not more special than anybody.

It could have been the other way round, you know?

Perhaps you should also learn to keep yourself grounded whenever you come in contact with the poor, the sick or people going through hard times and say to yourself THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME!

Sometimes, the only thing that differentiates you from whoever you deem to be better than is OPPORTUNITY. And never that you are more special than anybody.

There is a practice that I imbibed years back.

Wherever I come across the deceased (or even read about them), especially those who died in an unfortunate situation, I say a prayer for them. A lot goes through my mind at such times.

Firstly, I ask them to forgive humanity…as I am sure that humanity fails each of us one way or the other. Then I ask for the Almighty to bless their souls.

Finally, I take a few minutes to reflect that, that could be me right there.

Sometimes, make an effort to COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS. It is the easiest way to happiness. Happiness is never far from a grateful heart!

A friend once said: “I think ingratitude is part of human nature. Even to our Creator we are hardly grateful. However, grateful heart can be cultivated from childhood. This is why it is good not to send our kids to exclusive schools alone. Let them be in good schools where they can mix with people from different social classes. It helps so much.

Women generally have an “entitlement” mentality. They easily feel that the favours that come their way are their rights as a woman and not a privilege or show of kindness and understanding. Meanwhile when they find themselves in a position where they lack those things, they begin to run from pillar to post. Let’s appreciate whatever we get or have.’’

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