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The presidential drop-out

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“On The Couch” anchored by entertainer, Folarin Falana, aka Falz, and journalist, Laila Johnson-Salami.

The lesson of the week is: Be less Olasubomi.

There is nothing wrong with Olasubomis of course, let’s not get it twisted.

After all, I am married to one.

At the risk of sounding like a mash up of the racist white girl who tries to backtrack with the cliché “My best friend is black” cop out and the US President The Donald, I know a lot of people named Olasubomi; all lovely people.

But one Olasubomi got the nation in a twist this week with an ill-advised interview.
He was none other than the presidential aspirant Olasubomi Okeowo at the helm of African Democratic Congress (ADC).

The interview in question “On The Couch” anchored by entertainer, Folarin Falana, aka Falz, and journalist, Laila Johnson-Salami.

As hubby, the aspirant’s namesake gave up watching after the first five minutes, I held tight till the bitter end, watching the car crash of an interview, all in the name of journalism of course so I can bring you my ‘Ultimate Guide to Things You Should Avoid Saying as a Presidential Aspirant.’

If you are dreaming of running for presidency one day – or still haven’t managed to make it past the five minutes of the said interview with the aspirant who announced shortly after he was pulling out of the race, do read on.

“My father was married to 11 women and with 30 children, you should tell I must have been a politician.”

In answer to Falz’s question, “Do you have any history in politics?” To the point that, Falz had to rephrase the question, “Do you have any history in politics on state level?”

The revised answer? “No actually but I have been an active employer myself in the country…” Oooo- kay… And your point, Sir?

“Back in school, economics was my best subject…and I have a large heart for economies of scale… so I understand economics from A to Z.”

Please note your best subject in 11th grade should have no implication on your expertise as an adult.

Having Physics as your best subject does not make you a pilot automatically.

Hence, Mr. Okeowo, the fact that economics was your best subject back in school or that you have a large heart and understand economics from A to Z does not make you an economist.

“Descartes. Maybe I didn’t study him like that.”

This, coming from a Philosophy major who claimed a minute ago to have “studied philosophy extensively”.

But missed one of the most renowned philosophers out of his extensive study? Haba!

“The worst deserts in the world today grow the best veggies.”

The kind of simplistic fallacy The Donald would have been proud of.

“There’s no way we can produce anything. We are black people; we are not wired that way.

Your brain cannot comprehend it. We are not wired technologically.”

Said by a black man vying for the votes of a predominantly black nation and yet doesn’t see anything wrong not only with the fallacy of his statement but the fact that he is insulting the very people whose support he is courting.

“One day I was watching TV And I saw Davido. Someone asked him, ‘Davido, why don’t you think about collaborations with people abroad?’

He said, ‘I don’t want to do that. What I’m doing here is enough for me.”

If anything can prove the adage, “It’s better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt” it is this statement right here.

“I’ve not been following British politics for the last four-five years.”

Abeg, and you call yourself a ‘political’ aspirant? Sir, this is not the class prefect elections o!

“The gender is strong. I am just there in the middle, sitting on the fence.”

Very eloquently addressing the question, “Are you a feminist?”

“When people are depressed they don’t have purposes to life. They tend to experiment with substances.”

Explaining how he will eradicate drug addiction when he comes to power. Not sure if this aspirant understood the ‘purposes’ of this question!

“Laila…Laila….see ehn people like oh give us stress…”

Just one of the many times Mr Okeowo showed himself to be out of his depth when questioned by a worthy journalist.

The question was, “Let’s talk about Sustainable Development Goals….going by the targets set, Nigeria isn’t achieving any of it…take for instance economic growth…”

Safe to say this was just one of the many times Mr Okeowo failed to address the question instead calling out Leila’s name like an admonishing elder.

“Get the party off the ground – you know what I am saying?”

Sounding like a high school drop-out when questioned on the ADC party manifesto can only be the sign of a presidential race drop-out then.

And last but not least, if you are a political aspirant, please at least make the effort to find out what the traditional dish for your region is.

An Ijebu man who couldn’t even name his state’s traditional dish ikokore? As an honorary Omo Ijebu, I protest.


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