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To the sisters ‘searching’…


Man, woman

Having observed the relationship pitfalls that single ladies searching for a better-half often fall into, I came up with some tips that (I hope!) will become of help to the sisters that are still searching.

. Men hate desperate women
Men find women attractive who are not only unimpressed with their wealth and good looks, but treat them as if they are just everyone else. Sure, let a man have your number and even be nice to him but that doesn’t mean you have to always be “available.”

. Pay attention to your looks
A lot of sisters only have the motivation to look good when there is a man in their horizon. It should not be so. Every woman should find joy in being FABULOUS for herself-first and foremost.


Every woman should find joy in looking good…even when she is not going anywhere.

You don’t need anyone to save you, for heaven’s sake, you need someone to appreciate all that you are. Do you think a man is more likely to appreciate you if you are always dressed in some frumpy outfits or if you are dressed in lovely attractive gowns, the perfect pair of jeans or the best accessories you can afford?

You don’t have to make a lot of money, but you should look like you are well worth every penny you spent.

. Don’t tell a man every little thing about you so fast!
As a matter of fact, you never need to tell him everything. Most men are not interested in why or how your ex-boyfriend mistreated you, how many “joys sticks” have prodded your rose garden.

He is interested in you.
There are more exciting things to do and talk about besides your past. You can and should confide in him as time goes by, but let it be a PROCESS…that only TIME makes happen.

. Keep it real…
Most men have a lot of respect for women who know their own minds. You should never lie to your dream guy or mislead him about certain significant realities of your life like a previous marriage, love child, your age, educational background, source of livehood, etc.


Lying about these things is like shooting oneself on the foot, if he sticks around long enough, he’ll find them out. If your reality is not good enough for any man, then he is not good enough for you, too.

By keeping it real, you’ll present him with the opportunity to fully appreciate you for who you truly are.

. Cultivate a warm disposition
Men can’t resist a lady with a beautiful laugh or smile. It’s not sexy to be rigid as lady. Loosen up a bit, live in the moment. The feminine wiles of a woman is that of subtle flirtation with her man.

Occasionally get touchy with him…e.g. touch his forearm or place your palm on the edge of his shoulder, or any other place that would be appropriate for casual touches, and you’ll see how his interest in you would grow in no time.

Even scientific researches have shown that guys involuntarily start showing more interest in girls who touch them in the middle of a conversation.

These things give him what to think about you. Guys like ladies who are all sweet and nice, but it can get pretty boring after a while. Show him your naughty side too.

. Show concern on his issues
Men love it when a lady spares some thoughtfulness towards them too. A relationship should not be all about you and your issues. Show sufficient interest in his job, welfare (e.g. health, eating habit) and his folks, etc. Learn to be a genuinely nice person.


Certain “clean efforts” in life also give you positive vibes.

. Don’t wear insecurity as a badge with men
Every woman that is desirous of a happy relationship MUST come into her own-firstly.

That is…you should be accepting of both your flaws and uniqueness. Otherwise, you will begin to see every woman in his space as a threat.

Do you realize how damaging that can be to your sanity in these days of the social media for example?

That is not to say that you should ignore important writings on the wall. Don’t overlook disturbing signals that you pick up about a man…your health and emotional wellbeing is at stake!

. Be appreciative…
When you meet that man, who goes out of his way to make you happy-please appreciate the gesture.

A lot of ladies take these things for granted…until they meet someone who wouldn’t even step out of his comfort zone or lift a finger for them.

Whoever makes some efforts towards your happiness deserves some appreciation…a thank you, a smile, a hug (my favourite!) and depending on your level of intimacy…good sex is also a tool of appreciation.

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