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Undeserving of you…



Sometimes, what hurts when a relationship goes south isn’t really the end of the relationship but the emotions and resources invested!

As one grows older, you become aware of people who are undeserving of your presence in their lives and those whose absence (from your emotional space) is rather a relief.

This makes life a lot easy!


As you ‘feel’ your way through life, you will also begin to understand that real CARE is never in grandiose displays (a.k.a ‘assurance’) but in the little but consistent gestures of another towards you.

If whoever you are prioritizing in your life falls below the category before…he/she belongs to the category of PEOPLE WHO DON’T DESERVE YOU.

If all you have tried doing is ‘be a friend’ but what greets your efforts from someone who hasn’t even lifted a finger towards you, is being treated like a nuisance…he/she doesn’t deserve you.

You are single-parenting but all your “love interest” seems to care about is YOU. Nobody who hasn’t shown sufficient interest in your “baggage” deserves you.

If the love is genuine, it should take all of you into perspective.

“Love me…love my dog,’’ remember?

When a relationship is strained, only a true friend would NOT wait for words to read the reconciliatory tone of your body language. But the one who would always want you to grovel for ‘peace’ doesn’t deserve you.

The spouse, to whom nothing (marital commitment, respect for your- person/feelings, concern for your health/family, etc) is enough to make him/her hold back from certain “misdemeanour” has long stopped deserving you.


The sanctity of marriage is expressed in the temptations out there that we hold back from yielding to.

Everyone gets tempted to ‘misbehave,’ especially in marriage, but the one who has upheld his or her own side of the bargain simply chose to respect what he/she has with you.

And such disposition is NOT exactly borne out of weakness.

The ‘family’ that will rather resent your loving gesture, which has not come in monetary form, does not deserve you-frankly.

Of all the places where ‘money should talk’…the family should be the LEAST of such.

A family is where everyone should come as he/she is bringing along their vulnerability.

But when a family begins to carry on as if the only thing that can confer ‘worthiness’ on their own is some economic worth, such a family has become toxic to the selfless soul.

I had this conversation with a young man, recently. He feels so unworthy because he is not as comfortable economically as his siblings.

I pointed out to him that what (compassion) he is blessed with is even greater than any material worth.

Also, compared to most of them, his health is excellent and he’s been the one that is always there to help care for the ailing.

I am surprised that he has not seen how life has chosen to reward him. The combination of good health and a caring heart is a huge blessing!

If a supposed friend treats you any differently than how he treats any other-based on a social class…you are not safe with such a person.

“The worst custodians of LOYALTY are social climbers’’…says a friend.


They are the types who are constantly editing their life stories to ‘belong’.

Anybody who is incapable of cherishing the memories of little beginnings and the various actors in such settings isn’t trustworthy.

Don’t invest your emotions in that person who is all ‘caring’ only when they have a need for you.

You see that friend who makes efforts to keep in touch when he or she can conveniently look the other way?

That’s a friend to treasure for life! The age we live in has turned most of us to ‘users’ in one way or the other.

Any ‘close’ friend whose vulnerability (low moments, etc) you have never experienced isn’t on the same ‘emotional page’ with you and is most likely not as close as you think.


Sometimes, those that make you feel ‘not good enough’ are actually those that you do not belong with.

“If they don’t see anything wrong with their action…they will never stop the madness.

A toxic person, group or entity usually cannot see the fault in their actions.

When you bring it up to them, do not be alarmed if they hit you with manipulations and tactics to avoid accountability.

The older you get, the less stress you accept in your life.

You keep your circle small and you just overlook things you would have flipped out on- in the past.

When people want to leave your life, you just say “OK.’’ Ultimately, you are more peaceful and family oriented.

You just care less about the scene, fitting in and meaningless connections.

“You level up and really care about enjoying life every single day.’’ -Sylvester Mc.Nutt

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