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Utter shamelessness…


It was in no small measures that I welcomed the news that a popular pastor plans to hold a special prayer session for our young men, whom he said “are veering from the norm, are no longer desirous of being the heads in the homes and that most of them aspire to become kept men.’’

I only wish I had the means of providing transportation that would ship a truckload of them off to the prayer (or is it ‘deliverance’) ground. I shudder at the utter shamelessness that I see in some of our young men of this age.

Men, whose idea of “economic efforts” is prowling the internet with several false identities and looking for who to defraud or sugar mummies to become “joy sticks” to, for financial rewards.


Men, who think that the only thing a man should bring to the table is his “third leg.” According to a friend “nothing brings a lady in contact with every imaginable ‘lowlife’ (in the form of a man) like desperation for the Mrs. title.’’

A senior friend in her 40’s told me that one of the men that she eventually found the strength to show the door had the habit of asking her for a tuber of yam, after having lunch at her house. Yet, this is someone that claimed to be a car dealer. I thought that a man that has an iota of dignity in him would rather give her some money, no matter how small, to buy a tuber of yam for him-if he so much enjoyed the one she served him but…no, this one was habitually begging for a tuber of yam. She claimed to have met him in the church.

It seems a lot of these funny characters are taking cover in the church. Recently, a lady said this about a man she met on the social media…”he is 46 years of age; he has no house, no job. Initially, I felt I could give him a helping hand but along the line -I gave up. The (economic) load is too much for me. I don’t even know any member of his family but he is a genuine born again Christian. And he is based in Abuja.’’

My response to her, on him, was…
When a man is still “missing it” at a certain age…forget it!

And I have noticed that a lot of them are now covering up with this ‘born-again’ claim. Yet, they feel comfortable living off women. They don’t go for women who can’t carry them economically. As if being a born-again is some license not to get one’s acts together. It does get overwhelming when you have to keep carrying someone who makes no efforts to help himself.

The statistics of ladies sponsoring their own weddings and single-handedly funding their marriages is alarming.

How does any woman feel in a marriage she practically PAID her way into?
A lady can support a man that is worth it (hard working, honest, driven etc.) who is trying to find his feet but such a man has to be worth it. I don’t know how any lady feels, knowing that a man is in her life because of her money. What if the money is no more…you become an “ex- Mrs?” Or he leaves you for a “greener” pasture?

The least you can do for yourself, dear lady, is to be convinced at least that the man in your life is worth it.

Why do we even carry on as if marriage is all there is to living a fulfilled life? Can’t ladies learn to get a life, with or without the Mrs title? Why do we do this to ourselves?

There is what is called destiny…take yours in your own hands and run with it. If a husband comes along, fine but if not…live your life to the fullest, regardless.


If you want to have kids, plan along that line…there are options! Focus on being happy, if any relationship brings you more sighs than smiles…get rid of it.

There are a lot of men that can be there for a woman in their own way (even as friends) but ladies frighten the hell out of such men by constantly pushing for marriage.

Let us learn to savour good relationships; you can’t compare such to the misery of ‘anyhow’ marriage…just so you can answer a ‘Mrs’.

In any case, not everyone will end up ‘married’…has it ever occurred to you?

A doctor friend said that most people suffering from high blood pressure now are young people below age 45; a lot of them are women that are having marital issues. The one that will interest you most is the percentage of those that have become psychiatric cases!

Is it really worth it?

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