Wake up and stop obsessing over that man

So lets play this scenario… it’s 9:30 at night, you’re sitting in your kitchen and staring at your phone screen, obsessing over the guy you just met. Whether you’ve been with him for a while or you just met him, obsessing over him gets old pretty fast.

And if you think about it, most of the time when you’re in a situation with a guy where you’re “obsessing over him,” things probably aren’t going all that great. You’re obviously not getting as much attention as you want from him, otherwise you wouldn’t find yourself sitting there, staring at your phone, thinking about nothing but him.

Then you start asking yourself questions like…Why can’t things just be the way you want them to be? Why can’t he just call and text you every single day, all the time? That’s what you want, right? Don’t you want him to be completely fueled with passion for you, so that he’s the one obsessing over you? Wouldn’t that feel better? You can actually have that. But first, if you’ve been obsessing, you’ve probably been doing most of these things:

*Waiting for the next time you hear from him (literally waiting and staring at your phone).

*Thinking about the last time you spoke to him on the phone or saw him in person, going over in detail.
everything that happened again and again. Doesn’t that get tiring?

*Analyzing the things that he says and does through text/calls and in person as well.

*Constantly checking his Facebook and Instagram page for updates.

*Re-reading your text conversation with him

*Jumping at the chance to see him if he asks (even if he asks last minute, and even if you have something else going on at the moment).

Honestly, when you’re putting this much energy into a guy, you’re hardly living your life at least not to your full potential. When you’re obsessing over something (him), it becomes the biggest thing in your life, and all other areas of your life, work, friends, family, hobbies, etc. become smaller. Including yourself.

Isn’t that a bleak though? The fact that you’re making everything in your life smaller and less important because you’re choosing first hand to think about and put this other person first? Not only are you being unfair to yourself, but it’s not healthy, and he will begin to feel all of your mental energy projecting into him sooner or later, and will feel turned off and will eventually run away from you. Is that what you want? No, of course not.

Here’s one of the most important things you’ll ever need to know when it comes to the world of dating and relationships:

*He doesn’t want to be the center of your world. Trust me.

No man does. It’s way too much pressure for him and it makes your perceived value as a human go down. So how can you stop obsessing over him so much and turn the tables so his energy is constantly coming towards you? By reducing his importance from your life, and putting all of your focus onto yourself.

Reducing his importance in your life doesn’t have to be a “bitchy” thing. All it really means is taking better care of yourself, which you probably haven’t been doing if you’re reading this! But that’s okay though, no judgement. we’ve all been there.

So what does reducing his importance in your life, and taking better care of yourself, look like?

*Not letting your normal hobbies and activities get shoved aside just because he’s asked you to hang out or go on a date.

*Only allowing yourself to spend time with him if he’s stepped up to the plate and planned the date or activity for you in advance (Why would you want to have to scramble at the last minute to look your best for a date?? That’s the worst!) A high value woman requires plans in advance. You are a queen. Always remember that.

*If he hasn’t asked you to be exclusive yet all on his own, it’s looking out for yourself and keeping your options open to dating and seeing other men.

*Him not existing in your world unless he is right in front of you.

*Once you do start dating him exclusively or routinely, it’s making sure that you stay in regular contact with family and friends, both in person and over the phone

The above are all things to keep track of in the big picture when we’re seeing someone. The idea is to keep your world almost exactly the same, except, now there’s one more new person in it!

That’s where channeling your energy comes in. It’s all about focusing on where you’re allowing your thoughts and energy to go.

Channeling is a very special tool because if you practice it enough, it can actually change the way your brain pathways work! I learnt sometime back about how our brain works. We have circuits in our brains which form pathways. Those pathways are what creates habits.
Ever notice how you relate a song to a certain time period, or a certain smell to a person? That’s because if you hear a song enough times during a certain time period, or smell a scent enough on a certain person, eventually, when you hear that song or smell that smell, that time period or person will automatically come to mind. It’s like a little automatic habit that has been created in your mind without you even trying. But you can do this purposely too. All it takes is some focus.
Each time you catch yourself pining away after him, change your thought pattern to something else immediately.

See how long you can go without thinking about him and how long you can go thinking about that other thing.
It might only be a few seconds, and that’s okay, because the more often you do it, the better at it you will get, and the longer you will be able to focus your thoughts on other things.

Eventually, you will notice yourself focusing on so many other things besides him that he’ll no longer be taking up all the space in your mind. Another thing you can do right now for a short term fix, is just to get busy with something else particularly something hands on…

*Paint your nails

*Go for a long walk or to the gym

*Organize or clean your house

*Clean your car out

*Clean out your closet

*Go window shopping

One last thing to remember: If he isn’t right in front of you, he doesn’t exist. As simple as that.

It’s this kind of focusing on yourself and your own life that interests and draws him towards you, making him feel like he can’t get enough of you!

I wish you the best always. To our happiness. Cheers.