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What makes you attractive as a woman



There are times that you feel or think to yourself that what could you possibly do to change the way a guy sees you. What would it take to turn up your powers of attraction and make him fall in love more? Now the answer isn’t too far fetched. You just have to be yourself. I would share with you a bit of how you can make a guy more interested with you.

Physical Attraction
As women, for most of us there is an inherent need to feel and look beautiful. We go to great lengths to maintain our beauty, even to the point of spending millions of naira a year on “girl maintenance”. I am certainly no exception. And although sometimes men gripe about all the fuss, they generally appreciate the visual reward, don’t they?

Now, while we don’t maintain our looks solely for the purpose of attracting our male counterparts, our physical beauty is definitely a “tool” that’s used to attract men when we want to.

But physical attraction can be a fickle thing. It can be strong enough to spur a romantic whirlwind, but without the right mixture of other ingredients, that whirlwind becomes a short-lived fling and then the dreaded one night stand comes to mind. Even the most beautiful woman won’t inspire a man’s deepest heartfelt commitment with just her looks alone.

So why do men fall in love? Each of us is on a personal journey. Along the way, our experiences shape our perspective and influence our communication in all of our relationships. If we’ve had negative experiences and pain in relationships, and we all have, we may become guarded and fearful of getting hurt. Yet, our desire for love and intimacy compels us to seek a partner.

When we find someone we like, our womanly superpowers automatically start to kick in (e.g. sex, cooking, doing his laundry, etc.) and we proudly demonstrate “who we are”. We think that if we’re sexy enough and really great at doing womanly stuff, he’ll appreciate the good thing he’s found and put a ring on it. After a year or two in a relationship with this guy, we can’t figure out why he isn’t ready for marriage. We begin to consider that all men are commitment phobic. But most men do seek a deep romantic connection with a woman they can trust and grow old together with. The most masculine, manly man can become a swooning, hopeless romantic for a woman who triggers this response in him. And what exactly triggers this level of attraction?

I’ve talked about this in many of my newsletters on the topic of authenticity because it truly is the only thing that’s most important and often missing. The problem is, most of us wouldn’t know how to be authentic if we tried because we only know how to let the world know us on the level of “skin deep”. Beauty counts for a lot, but it isn’t everything to a man, as countless gorgeous women who have suffered heartbreaks can certainly attest. What if I told you that your truest, most authentic self is unequivocally your most attractive quality? What if I told you it’s the one thing standing between you and deeper intimacy?

If you don’t know what authenticity looks like, I will tell you. To be Authentic means to be “Real or genuine; not copied or false”.

When I look back through my childhood memories, some of my favorite times were when my best friend at the time and I were on a discovery adventure or playing make-believe. We would act out various life scenarios we looked forward to experiencing one day when we were grown-ups. We would build playhouses in the backyard out of sands and match boxes, empty cartons and other odd materials we could find around the house and pretend we were mommies and our handsome husbands were at work. We would cook with sands and stones. We played “office” and “school” and “store owner” etc.

As children, we explored new and familiar places with wonder and imagination. When we were playing, we were in a joyful, carefree state of being. That little girl has always remained very much alive in my soul, even as I’ve grown older. I am still connected to her. She is ME.
She’s the part of me who dreams big.
She’s the part of me who sees beauty in the world.
She’s the part of me who loves unconditionally, without fear or judgment.
She’s the part of me who is moved to tears watching a romantic movie.
She’s the part of me who recognizes the soul in others.
She is my most true, authentic self. All grown up, she is my inner goddess.
(She is a really fun playmate, btw!) lol.

Ask yourself this question. What makes you so attractive?
There is nothing as profoundly attractive as a woman who is comfortable in her own skin, happy being who she really is and able to appreciate others just as they are. Her beautiful hair, make-up, and clothing are an extension of her personality, but do not define her. She’s in touch with who she is and believes in herself even when she doesn’t feel confident.

A woman who is being authentic isn’t trying to figure out what a man wants. She doesn’t need to because she’s too busy being herself and not what she thinks he wants. And he’s responding. He’s intrigued and curious. He wants to connect deeper and know more about this woman who is so easy to be with, this woman who isn’t “trying” to prove herself.

So who are you being? I want you to take a moment and consider what’s happening on the inside.

How are you feeling when you’re with your man?
Are you relaxed and comfortable?
Are you grounded in the moment and fully engaged?
Or are your thoughts drifting to marriage and uncertainty about the future?
Are you frustrated and feeling impatient?

When “who you’re being” on the inside isn’t aligning with who you’re being on the outside, he senses it in your vibe and he experiences you as confusing and hard to read or even much more, a liar.

In this article:
Kemi Amushanwoman
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