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What we desire from a partner – Part 2


A research that claims to have interviewed enough men and women (to arrive at a study) feels they just might have stumbled on what an average person desires in a significant other.

It started with attributes that an average woman finds desirable in a man, which I discussed last week.

This week, I am concluding with the attributes that an average man finds desirable in his woman:

. An average man is not always in the mood for a typical woman’s “lovey-dovey” moves, and would appreciate that she has enough “sense” to give him some space to watch his favourite TV shows…without feeling that his need for an alone time spells infidelity or him not desiring her anymore.


. Men are not always in the mood for “company.” Let him have his space when he needs it and everyone ends up happy (or at least satisfied).

. This should also apply when he hangs out with the boys or just wants to go have a bottle of beer ALONE.

. Frankly, it’s not about you filling up the fridge or bar with all sorts of drinks so that Oga won’t go out. An average man will always have the need for a “me alone” moments and that’s how they are wired. They are not wired to chaperone us 24/7. He needs time to put his thoughts together, too.

. By the way, how about inviting his friends over (once in a while) for a special delicacy or just a barbeque? Such gestures melt the heart of any man (and even puts you in good stead with his buddies)…claims the study.

. Just like an average woman. The average man also loves to hear you tell him how much you love the way he touches you.

. Call him during the day and whisper loving things into the phone. Tell him how much you love him. Say, “I love you” when you meet and when you say good-bye, even on the phone.

. Make efforts with romantic settings around the house…it calms a man’s nerves and kind of gives him something to look forward to coming home to.

. For example, have dinner ready when he comes home from work. Add candles even if there are kids sitting at the table. It is good for them to watch mom and dad expressing their love. Remember… kids learn more from observation than from mere words!

. Gestures such as offering him his favourite drink to relax him before dinner is ready, is a hit with an average man. And while in that mood, ask him about his day and LISTEN.

. When gestures come from the heart, it is never lost on a loved one.

. When you go shopping, ask him if he wants you to get him something.

. Please recognise his need for extra attention when he is not feeling well. And do not tell him he is behaving like a baby when he is sick. Grown men need attention and being sick is their way of getting it when nothing else seems to work.

. Sometimes, let him be “the man”…even if you have to say “I am sorry’’ first. But not before whatever is causing friction in your relationship has been properly discussed. I am not an advocate of sweeping matters under the carpet for peace to reign!

. Always deliberately play SEXY for him. Buy yourself sexy outfits. When you go a notch higher with your sexy efforts, you are actually giving a present to your man, as he is the one who will ultimately benefit (at least in the bedroom) from your efforts.

. Give him impromptu massages…especially when you feel he needs it.

. Encourage his “looking good” efforts by commending his choice of fragrances, clothes and also buying those for him.

. Make him his favourite dish and sometimes encourage him to invite his folks (parents or siblings) to share a meal with you guys.

. On weekends, while he is resting, get the kids to wash his car (with you) as a surprise to daddy. Trust children, they will make the exercise a double fun, especially when mummy/daddy is participating!

. If he is busy and has to miss a TV show that he likes, record it for him.

. When he comes home early, to spend time with you and the kids or when he helps out around the house…let him know you appreciate his efforts.
. Ask him, “Is there anything I can do to help?” when he is going through rough patches…instead of
sulking that he isn’t giving you enough attention.

. When shopping, get him his favourite toiletries before his supply runs out. Such gestures are most thoughtful.

. Always smile for him…men don’t get over a woman’s pleasant expressions.

. Make a genuine effort to get along with his folks.

. Shower him with appreciative gestures…both in words and in kind.


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