Be At The Top In Life And Your Relationships

THIS is strictly for the men. Men are all competitive in life; it is their nature as God created them to be.

They all want to be that guy winning the first-place trophy, being the biggest and ‘baddest’ guy at work and gaining the respect and love of the one stealing their hearts.

Just as women search for the right partner, so do men. Men searching for that right partner are always looking for the one who “fits” them best, giving them that special balance and making them whole.

Some get lucky and find it early in life, others discover “the one” just when they think they will never cross their paths.

But when “the one” does eventually show up, she owes it to herself to make sure you are as much a priority to her as she is to you.

That you are #1 and not just another person on their social calendar, blackberry contact list, Instagram or facebook account.

That they are in it for the long haul, together, with you without major issues dragging you down making you feel unimportant.

And if you are accepting less than you honestly feel you deserve, more than likely, things will probably get worse before they get better.

Now some reading this may think I am being partial or something, but over the years, I found out that men basically want what women want too. Believe me. Men want…

Emotional needs
Some guys may think they are above feeling vulnerable, needy or that they are one who should not display emotion or that they should always be the rock, the general and a man never letting others see you cry.

But realistically, a man cannot be this way all the time. They are human beings too and that means finding someone who will lift them up, support and help carry their across to the finish line when they need it most.

Of course, a man’s role is to always be there for his girl. That is what they ought to do. But we, as women, also have a right to have our needs met as well.

There is an old saying that: “Behind every great man there is a greater woman.”

So, how do you know your woman is on your side of things, emotionally, making you a top priority?
* Does she appreciate you and show it through her words and actions?
* Does she understand where you are coming from and really listen when you are concerned or fearful?
* Is there trust and honesty in your relationship?

If this is true, the first step is realising exactly what you need from the other person and communicating it directly.

If they are truly interested in the health of your relationship, they will take steps to improve the situation. If not, then perhaps they are not the one for you.

But it all starts with expressing your feelings and getting the right response.
Everyday needs

These are some basic, common areas that can keep you from being her top priority: Communication, family, career and pets. Let us start with Communication

Is there balance when you speak with each other? Do you focus and really “hear” what the other has to say, especially when disagreements occur?

Is there an urgency to solve issues when they arise or are they merely swept under the rug to be continued later?

If she is only seeing her side of things, it is time to let your voice be heard.

Also, phone etiquette. Is her phone her lifeline? In other words, does her posts on social media accounts, texts, emails and phone calls occupy chunks of her free time, leaving you talking to yourself? Do you feel second or third next to the Internet?

This is a huge problem and no man should be cast aside in favour of a plastic screen. After all, those voices and words she hears and reads are not sitting next to her, but you are.

As a woman, I would not take that from my man and I do not feel it right for women to do the same to their men.

When you get serious about a relationship, most likely her family is part of the package, which is great, as long as she can balance their needs with yours.

But if she is spending her evenings on the phone with “mom,” filling the living room with relatives every weekend, or if you have children and she is making them her life, while placing you on the back burner, then boundaries clearly need to be enforced immediately.

Now, children need love and attention more than anything. But just make sure that a little bit of some time-off from time to time and some serious love-making happens after the lights go out.

Careers are a tough one to compete with, but we all must work to survive.

However, if she is making her career more important than you, placing you well beneath her boss’s needs, or voluntarily traveling more than required to have more freedom, then you are not the most important person in her life.

In other words, if she values her career more than you, then it is time to make adjustments. If not, you will resent her for it and she will resent you, and that is not a healthy existence.

I have had pets and loved them all. There are few things cuter than a newborn puppy. But if you are with someone, placing more importance on her animals needs than yours, then you best get a handle on this, rapidly. This is just an example.

Now again, do not misread, animals are great, especially dogs. I have three of them. They have their place in my heart and the world and create lots of happiness for me and some people at large. They provide that unconditional love so many seem to lack.

But intimate, human relationships should never be devalued next to them. So, if she would rather cuddle with her dogs than you, my advice would be to have a serious talk or look for companionship elsewhere.

Otherwise, you will be competing against an unbeatable opponent, forever.

It could be anything at all taking her attention, but make sure you tackle it immediately before you lose her completely, because we women are easily distracted.

Being top priority in a relationship is what creates intimacy. Those special feelings of being wanted, needed and loved completely make it all worthwhile. Never accept anything less.

To the loving relationship we all deserve, good luck in love and life. Cheers!