… Celebrating The Feelings You Share!
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How can I stop abusing someone I’m in a relationship with?
My wife provokes me and I end up physically abusing her. I regret it but end up doing it whenever I am provoked. What do I do?
YOU are responsible for your actions and your feelings.
You are responsible for how you choose to react to anyone else, no matter what they do.You can blame someone else for your feelings, your body, and your movements or you can accept that they did not hold puppet strings and move your body.
You can choose how you react to anyone. Anyone, from a child to a co-worker to a wife, has the ability to annoy another person. It is not your wife that is provoking you, but that you cannot control your anger. Your first step is to remove yourself physically from the situation.
Do not continue to engage in any discussion if you feel yourself becoming provoked or angry. If necessary, excuse yourself from the entire house.
The second step is to take a moment to breathe and assess your own feelings as to why you were upset. Identification of the true source of irritation is more productive than feelings. Begin to solve the problem.
Thirdly, take the time to feel yourself calming down physically. This often takes no more than 60 to 90 seconds. Abuse is a learned behaviour.