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When the one you love breaks your heart

By Bishop Charles Ighele
16 October 2022   |   2:39 am
Sometime ago, my wife Carol and I were engaged in a gist and laughing as we were getting ourselves prepared that morning for the day’s work. We were talking about how much our marriage

Charles Ighele

Some time ago, my wife Carol and I were engaged in a gist and laughing as we were getting ourselves prepared that morning for the day’s work. We were talking about how much our marriage and love life have grown.

As we were talking, I said something, which probably I should not have said. I told her that I know that she will never divorce me neither will I ever divorce her. That is certainly certain. But I said that in case she divorces me today, I will recover within three days. I will bounce back and move on with my life. I will look for other ways of creating new memories, giving my life meaning and doing the work, which God created me and equipped me to do.

Carol was shocked at hearing these words. She said: “Ehn? Is that how much you love me for you to mourn my departure only for three days and after that forget about me?” My reply to her was that she should know that I love her deeply. I then reminded her of how I have repeatedly said that I will like to die before her because if she dies before me, I will not know how to mourn her and that her loss will be so much for me to bear. I told her that alone should make her know that I love her deeply. 

I told her that if she should decide to divorce me, it means that she is not worthy of my love. It means that I was pouring my God-given love into a basket. Why then should I kill myself and lose weight over a woman who has no respect for my priceless commodity known as love? It was after this explanation that she realised what I meant.

I can see from the Bible that prophet Samuel loved Saul so much. God used him to discover Saul when Saul was a nobody and God used him to anoint him to be the first King of Israel. He, therefore, had that spiritual and emotional attachment to King Saul. When Saul, therefore, kept misbehaving and refused to mature into the requirements of his new office as king, God spiritually removed him from the throne even though he physically remained there for many more years. 

Prophet Samuel was very sad over this. 1 Samuel 16:1 explains it this way: “And the Lord said unto Samuel. How long will you mourn for Saul, seeing I have rejected him from reigning over Israel?” In that same verse, God told Samuel to move on with his life and work by saying, “fill your horn with oil and go, I will send you to Jesse the Bethlehemite: for I have provided a king among his sons.” From this we can see that there is a time to mourn and a time to stop mourning over any tragedy, heartbreak or loss.

Why am I writing this article? It is because for some time now, I have been reading about boys and girls who killed themselves because they were jilted. In two separate cases, the jilted men killed other members of the family of the jilter. In another case, a woman whose husband turned his back on her ran mad.

It is not worth it. If your fiancé or fiancee, wife or husband should jilt you, it simply means that that person is not worthy of your love. He or she is too small for the quality and quantity of love that you carry. When you reason this way, God will enable you through divine appointment come in contact with a man or woman who is worthy of the marriage and family love you carry. Love you!

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