It Takes Three To Tango

Though one may be overpowered by another…a threefold cord is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12 (NKJV)

One thing we do well as Nigerians is hold on tightly to our God. We wake up, spend an hour (or more) with Him, ask for His guidance throughout the day, chant our declarations and give a testimony when any of our prayers have been answered. When we want that promotion, we ask Him. When a loved one is ill, we claim His promises for healing. When we are travelling, we call upon His angels. We include God in everything, in all areas of our life…

Well, save one!

In the midst of the struggles couples face, they are quick to pray for a friend, acquaintance, homeless man on the street, but ask them to pray for their spouse and they clam up. With all that animosity they have towards each other, it’s almost like you are asking them to commit a crime.

“Pray for them? I’m so busy praying for my work/health/future.”

In the event they do pray, they insist that God changes their spouse to become more like them and until that happens, they resign to their ‘fate’. “I’m not doing anything in this marriage until my husband/wife changes.”

God doesn’t punish you with an ‘evil’ partner.

He created everyone and loves them just the same way he loves you. Yes! He loves your partner that you are so frustrated with. So, why do you think you can go through life, making your partner out to be the enemy, and then go to their heavenly father to ask that he “deal with them”?

You treat them with disdain and neglect.

My religious influence is Christianity and so I’ll be speaking from my understanding of the bible. When we get married, we enter into a covenant with our partner to love and to cherish till death parts us, amongst other commitments. These days, when things get tough, we totally shut out the one person whom we have sworn to love and protect.

Why do we do this?

Because we think they do not deserve our time, attention, prayer and certainly not our love. This is where we always miss it. While I understand that your spouse might not deserve your time or attention, they deserve your love. This is what you promised to do when you exchanged those vows. You promised them EVERYTHING and the moment things aren’t looking so great, you bail.

You can’t stop praying for them.

And I do not mean those prayers of “Make my husband/wife like me Lord”, I’m asking that you truly desire for God to “Make my husband/wife a person after your heart Lord”. Remember that covenant I talked about earlier? The second you uttered those words to your spouse, you invited God into your marriage. The moment you don’t feel like the marriage is worth your time or energy and you start to treat your spouse without regard, you are trying to “kick God out” and that’s when the disaster mostly begins.

It’s your duty to build your relationship with God.

And in turn, work on your relationship with your spouse. By not edging God out, you are saying to your spouse that you take your vows seriously and acknowledge that they are important enough to make you focus on your relationship with God. The time you spend with God becomes a time for refreshing, for guidance and direction for your life. He that dwells in the secret place of the most high shall abide…Psalm 91:1.

Then watch how God builds your relationship with your partner.

Love always wins! It’s no longer enough to focus on the hurt your partner is causing you. That’s an emotion that is wasted and deters you from focusing on the important things. If God is watching your back, rest assured that the issues you face in your relationship will become history, as He’ll begin to make a way for them to get fixed. Because…

The closer you and your spouse get to God, the closer you’ll get to each other.

I’d love to hear from you, ask your questions, share your views, comment, like and share this article with your friends. It’s always best when we share J

Here’s to a closer walk with God and eventually, your spouse.

About ZeeZee
ZeeZee is a certified Relationship and Marriage Coach who believes her purpose in life is to equip couples with the right tools for a successful relationship. Through her website and YouTube channel she shares practical tips and principles that help couples understand the inner workings of a healthy marriage.

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