How Dr. Abiola Salami’s coaching transformed halima from aggressive manager to trusted partner

A few years ago, Halima was a brilliant but struggling Manager. She had mastered the technical side of consulting, delivering impeccable financial models and operational strategies. Yet, something was holding her back. Feedback from colleagues and clients was consistent: “Halima is aggressive,” “She doesn’t listen,” “She lacks emotional intelligence.” These comments stung, but they were real.

Her career was at a crossroads. Despite her undeniable potential, she risked stagnation unless she could transform not just her skills, but her leadership presence. That’s when Halima onboarded to Dr. Abiola Salami’s Executive Coaching Program.

Through a meticulously structured approach, I helped Halima evolve from an aggressive and feared Manager into a confident, respected, and inspirational leader. I will share some of the transformative strategies we adopted to propelled Halima to the top and can help any high-potential female leader achieve similar success.

1. Mastering Emotional Intelligence (EI) for Impactful Leadership
One of the first and most critical steps in Halima’s transformation was building her emotional intelligence (EI). Studies show that 90% of top performers have high EI, a skill set that includes self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills.

Halima was highly skilled but lacked the ability to regulate her emotions and understand others. Her sharp and critical feedback often alienated her team, leading to high attrition rates. She needed to build emotional intelligence to foster better relationships and lead with empathy.

We began by leveraging The Magic of Emotional IntelligenceTM Assessment Tool to conduct an EI assessment. We used real-time feedback loops to analyse her after meetings interactions and the Pause-Reflect-Respond Technique, which helped her control emotional reactions and improve engagement.

Over time, Halima became more approachable, improving team morale and reducing turnover. Colleagues started seeking her input rather than avoiding her. Her ability to manage emotions increased her effectiveness in high-stakes situations.

2.Transforming Aggressiveness into Assertive Leadership
Halima’s aggressive approach stemmed from a belief that strong leadership required dominance. However, her confrontational style created resistance rather than results. She needed to transition to an assertive yet collaborative leadership style.

We introduced to her the Empathy Sandwich technique: Start with appreciation, deliver constructive feedback, and end with support. We role-played difficult conversations to refine her approach and practiced powerful yet respectful body language.
Over time, she gained the trust of her team, making them more engaged and productive. Feedback sessions became more effective, fostering collaboration rather than conflict. Clients and colleagues saw her as a leader who could drive results without intimidation.

3. Adopting Executive Presence
Halima’s technical expertise was unquestionable, but she lacked the presence and poise that commanded attention in executive meetings. Her fast-paced speech and defensive tone often undermined her authority. Executive presence is about commanding attention, exuding confidence, and inspiring others. Many high-potential women struggle with this, feeling the need to prove themselves constantly.

Leveraging insights from The Magic of Productive CommunicationTM, we worked on Halima’s communication clarity—no more rushed, defensive responses. She developed a signature leadership style that combined authority with warmth. I taught her strategic silence—the power of pausing before speaking.

As a result, Halima became someone her colleagues looked up to rather than feared.She became a respected voice, trusted by leadership and her team alike. Her consistent and transparent communication increased credibility. Clients felt more secure in her leadership, leading to deeper long-term relationships.

4. Building a Personal Brand of Trust and Reliability
Despite her competence, Halima struggled with building trust due to inconsistent messaging and a perceived lack of approachability. A leader’s reputation is their most valuable currency She needed to craft a personal brand that positioned her as a trustworthy, approachable, and strategic leader.

Therefore, we created a personal leadership vision statement for her, increase her visibility by strategically contributing to industry panels (including speaking at The Peak Performer Festival) and ensured she maintains integrity through values-aligned decision-making.
Halima became a respected voice, trusted by leadership and her team alike. Her consistent and transparent communication increased credibility. Clients felt more secure in her leadership, leading to deeper long-term relationships.

5. The Power of Active Listening and Engagement
Previously, Halima listened to respond rather than to understand. Her tendency to interrupt and push her own perspective alienated both clients and colleagues. Learning to listen actively was a game-changer. She frequently dismissed team feedback without fully considering alternative perspectives, which led to frustration and disengagement. During critical client negotiations, her failure to acknowledge concerns often escalated tensions instead of resolving them.

I coached her to practice the “Mirror and Label” technique: repeating and acknowledging others’ concerns before responding. She used structured 1:1 meetings to deepen relationships and focused on non-verbal cues to demonstrate engagement.

Based on this, her team felt heard and valued, leading to higher morale and collaboration. Conversations became more productive, as team members felt safe sharing their insights. Clients appreciated her newfound patience and willingness to consider diverse perspectives.

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About Dr. Abiola Salami
Dr. Abiola Salami is the Convener of Dr Abiola Salami International Leadership Bootcamp ; The Peak
PerformerTM Festival ; Made4More Accelerator Program and The New Year Kickoff Summit. He is the
Principal Performance Strategist at CHAMP – a full scale professional services firm trusted by high performing business leaders for providing Executive Coaching, Workforce Development &; Advisory Services to improve performance. You can reach his team on [email protected] and connect with him @abiolachamp on all social media platforms.