The Guardian
Email YouTube Facebook Instagram Twitter WhatsApp

How many ex-lovers are too many?


According to a survey, 10 really is the perfect number. Researchers found that both men and women were put off potential new partners who have had more than 10 partners – as they were seen as promiscuous. Both men and women said that 10 lovers was the right “goldilocks” answer.

With 10 lovers, like the porridge in the children’s fairytale, you are neither too hot nor too cold. Those polled were also asked if they wanted to know how many lovers a new partner has had in their past.

Just 35 per cent of women wanted to know a man’s total – against 60 per cent who would rather not find out.

The poll suggests those who had more than 10 sexual partners were considered promiscuous, while having fewer than 10 would be considered sexually inexperienced.


For men, only 30 per cent wanted to know a woman’s sexual history, against 70 per cent who said they would rather not find out.

The results give a fascinating insight into dating etiquette and suggest men are less tolerant of promiscuity than woman. This is rather funny to me because men are rather more prone to catch a “side show” than their female counterparts. Yet, they will not tolerate a similar act from the women…a man’s world, right?

Anyway, here is what one of those that participated in the survey said: “You want to date a man who is confident and knows what he is doing sexually. To be good in bed, you need experience and you get that through getting to know what women want. My advice to any girl is: don’t tell, particularly if your figure is above 10. Most guys will think worse of you.”

Trust some ladies-they are so good at perpetually “editing” their history to suit the mood of the moment. To such ladies, every man they meet is usually their second or third -at most.

Someone asked, “isn’t it what some men deserve?’’…considering the fact that very few of them can bear to hear the absolute truth from a lady without dumping her as unceremoniously as they can, after giving her their “understanding ear?”

I mean, deep down…are we really ready to hear certain truth?
That is why I can never understand the thinking of any man that would wake up one day and choose to say to a woman (that he didn’t meet as a virgin) ‘’baby how many men have you slept with in your life?’’

Is such a man for real? What is such a man thinking? The only reason why some ladies will not swear they are still “untouched” is because there probably won’t be a blood-stain…during the deed!

Another participant in the survey concluded with this, “the dating game is changing so quickly. I think we are all becoming a lot more tolerant and sexually adventurous. If we had conducted this poll 10 years ago, men would have expected a potential partner to have slept with far fewer people. But a gentleman never asks a woman how many men she has slept with.’’

It is also my view that a wise lady keeps certain details of the past to herself. I mean your “hot number” is not a trophy to be flaunted.

When you are involved with someone, invoke what I call “the doctrine of hence forth”…he/she should be your one and only, put whatever happened in the past where it rightly belongs.

Focus on what you have, give it your best shot and hope for the best. But if after putting in your best, it becomes what it is…by all means, dust your feet and move on.

Sexual history is an interesting personal quality in that it is both a choice and, once done, is beyond our control. We don’t write about it in our online dating profiles, but it is a quality that many people care about when looking for a husband or wife.

I will take no interest in dating anybody who thinks that one’s sexual history defines who they are. It is always best to suspend any judgment you have about someone’s sexual history and understand (instead) that “baggage” is not found in one’s sexual history.

I am not excusing promiscuity, but it also gets to a point that we begin to pay attention to what can make a relationship, instead of expending energy on stuff that can dampen the prospects of a fulfilling relationship. It’s not likely that whoever you have just met hasn’t got a past.

If there are, I personally wouldn’t want to know about such past…except they are relevant.

Some people even have the irritating habit of “colouring” the details of their bedroom session with past lovers…as if that helps the current relationship in any way!


In this article:
Chukwuneta Oby
Receive News Alerts on Whatsapp: +2348136370421

No comments yet