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It takes two to tango!



A friend that came in from the U.S had issues with his fiancée and while my attention was being called to the ‘development’, his nephew, a boy in his early 20’s, jumped into the conversation and began to rant about how Nigerian ladies are all shades of bad. Then he concluded by saying to his uncle, ‘’you are being gentle with her, if I were in your shoes, I would have done ‘this and that’ (whatever such means!) to her.’’

It does bother me when people make certain generalised and glaring SADISTIC comments about others, especially when it has to do with issues about the opposite sex. How many ladies does this barely adult know, or has even met, to inform such unhealthy conclusion from him about the female folk in this clime?

Not long ago, it became an issue (amongst some men) that the ladies here prefer dealing with those from ‘abroad’, some men even went to town with the claim that such liaisons are usually informed by a lady’s greed for hard currency.

Their claims could have an element of truth to it (as everyone goes into “matters of the heart” for different reasons) but I also know that when it comes to being modest, respectful or even courteous to a lady-majority of men in this clime still have a long way to go.


Those coming from civilized environments or saner climes seem to have got it right- in this (respect for the female folk) regard.
Hard currencies apart, they seem to know how NOT to talk down on or treat a lady. The almost direct opposite of what obtains here- in most cases.

People are often the product of their environment! It Is so bad that when a lady has issues with a man here, especially in cities like Lagos, Abuja and Port-Harcourt; the first name she gets called is ashawo.

In fact, some men here see measures that are short of insulting or manhandling a lady (during a dispute) as pure weakness. Their “manliness” must be proved and what better way to do that, than to get brutal with a perceived weaker sex?

A video that I consider gross made the rounds on the social media some months back. I think the lady in the video…who was already stripped to the waist by the way, was said to have broken into someone’s home to steal stuff. From the video…her (anonymous) interrogators also stressed that she is ashawo, whose livelihood mainly involves going with whoever beckons for her intimate services.

Interestingly, the two friends that shared the video are men. And I pointed it out to them that it’s also a huge misconduct against women when men are quick to share such videos that debase womanhood…no matter the offence of the alleged culprit.

Recently, news filtering in from Port-Harcourt would send shivers down the spine of every sane person.I mean the stories about several young girls that were murdered in hotel rooms. Yet, some comments that one reads in blogs were short of justifying such heinous crimes against humanity.

…with some people blaming the victims for meeting strange men in hotel rooms.
These are people who seem to have forgotten the cardinal rule of humanity, that… EVERY LIFE IS SACRED!

The negativity against the female folk isn’t just worth it. Let our men focus all that energy on cleaning up their acts…attitude wise. Learning to be civil (no matter the circumstances) to the opposite sex is a good starting point. Otherwise, it becomes an issue of “kettle calling pot black.’’

Someone narrated a scene that he witnessed sometime back. A man was said to have picked up a lady at a nightclub and eventually took her home for the night. When morning came, he offered her N5, 000 and the lady brought down the roof, saying that the ‘negotiation’ was that she would be N20, 000 richer by morning, after keeping him company for the night. But when the time came for him to keep to the agreement, he claimed that what he would have given her was part of what he used to foot the bills of the food and drinks that he entertained her with.

As usual, the people that gathered to watch the “Naija Magic”-descended heavily on the girl, calling her names and instigating the man to take her to the police-for a lesson. I can imagine the scene!

Not once would anybody call the one that patronises “ladies of the night” names. That’s how biased our society is towards the female folk. Agreed that the one that sells her body for money is everything ‘evil’ and more. How about the one that patronises her services? Should he be exempted from the immorality blame?

It takes two to tango…you know?


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