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Self improvement: Love yourself


Chinny Okoye

Chinny Okoye

My passion for self-improvement and the total wellbeing of womanhood has led me to start a platform called the women. define I am very passionate about self-improvement and the total wellbeing of women and this passion is what led me to start a platform called “The women”. The Women is focused on raising awareness and promoting the importance of self-improvement among African women and girls through their Physical, Mental, Emotional and Spiritual Wellbeing in order to Inspire and Empower them to live a balanced and fulfilled life that is meaningful as well as inspire them to make a positive impact in their society.

Self-improvement is something that many women struggle with on a daily basis. I believe that every woman should continuously work on becoming the best version of herself. There is always something in our life that we feel needs improvement, however a lot of us women lack the willpower or motivation to do so. Saying that you will improve on a particular thing or beginning the journey to improve a particular issue in your life is a good start, but the key is to never give up on self-improvement. If you find that you have strayed, don’t beat yourself up about it, all you need to do is get up and try again and again until it becomes part of you. The best way to start improving yourself is to take baby steps. I am not saying it is going to be easy or simple, however it will all be worth it in the end.

Self-improvement is such a broad topic that needs to be dissected and taking step by step. One of the many ways in which we can begin to improve on our self is through something called “Self-Love” which is on its own a very broad topic. A number of people have asked me what self-love actually means so here it goes; Self-love is the instinct or desire to promote one’s own wellbeing and happiness.  It is true that women and girls have more equality and self-esteem than ever before, however, something hasn’t changed and that something is “self-love” while self-esteem is something that we want every woman and girl to have, knowing that you can do anything and be who you want to be doesn’t stop women and girls from beating themselves up, putting themselves into abusive relationships or hating and destroying their bodies.


Today in the 21st century these are the facts:
1 in 3 women will be in an abusive relationship before the age of 20. 80% will return.
1 in 3 women will be sexually abused
4 of 5 girls will think about dieting before JS1
Almost 1 out of 2 women will suffer through a divorce. 20% in the first 5 years of marriage.
80% of women are so exhausted that they are headed for extreme adrenal gland fatigue.

Women surveyed today are no happier than women surveyed in 1970, even though they have more equality, self-esteem and freedom. If you ever believed that self-love was a luxury think again. The repercussions of not having it and worse not teaching our daughters are serious. Today while some people do understand the power of self-love because they have experienced its life changing affects, self-love still elicits definitions like narcissism, conceit, vanity, selfishness, and others. In a world where so many girls and women experience unnecessary suffering, not using the power of self love will simply not do!

So many women in Nigeria today suffer from lack of self-love; there are different subsections of self-love, fondly called, “the self-love tree. “This includes self-care, self-acceptance, self-pleasure, self-awareness, self-empowerment, self-trust, self-honour and respect, self-compassion and forgiveness, self-expression and self-worth. The question you need to ask yourself today is where are you strong in self-love and where are you weak? Your mission is to determine which branches of self-love most need your attention this year and begin to work on them.
Stay tuned for my next article to find out more on self-love and how you can work on improving every aspect of your total wellbeing in order to achieve a balanced life!

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