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The golden rule of humanity…


I came across an aunt’s old stuff and was pleasantly surprised at how “well kept” most of the “love post cards” that she received over 30 years back are.

That was the era when the language of love had its expression in simple gestures such as receiving or sending post cards, taking a stroll together, holding hands, etc.

I call theirs the era of uncomplicated love!

Then, people truly loved for sheer joy of companionship. Now we “love” for material comfort and sexual gratification.

People who seem to have seen it all will readily tell you that nothing beats harmony in one’s life and that the harmony that heralds lasting happiness is independent of how much money one has.

Yet, the rest of us who are struggling to get by (economically) will also swear that one is better off being unhappy in wealth/comfort-than otherwise.


Gone are the days when people derive unequalled joy in simplicity of life! Sometimes, I doubt we are better off, even with the “good life” of this age.

Most of us feel the modern age offers us a lot of choices but we do not seem to realise that it also offers very little sense of commitment in terms of inter-personal relationships.

I do not think we are better off because this JET AGE LIFESTYLE is even brought (albeit unintentionally) into marriages, raising kids and friendships. I mean, this is an age where money is thrown at marital strains-when a sincere attempt at communication and nurturing could have done the job.

Parents now for push their “barely teenage” wards to graduate from the University. It’s lost on us that every stage in academics is expected to be backed by higher level of mental maturity.

Yet, the sole aim of the rush is so that our kids can become YOUNG MILLIONAIRES!

Friends do not go out of their way to check on each other anymore-thanks to the few words that are casually thrown around on smart phone messengers. That explains why a lot of people are surrounded by “friends” who are often the last to learn of their struggles.

I was tempted to close the chapter on a particular friendship sometime back-because she seems much closed up and bent on suffering alone, but I convinced myself that she probably does not know how much I care and that could explain why she is into herself.

Maybe it was a call for me to show more care. It’s been challenging but one is glad that I am putting in that extra effort in the friendship. I mean, it’s exactly the way I would have wanted it-if the tables turned.

Every one of us desires friends who would rather stick around, even when everything about our attitude screams GO AWAY, LEAVE ME ALONE. If we all start going away because the attitude of certain friends says so-the word FRIENDSHIP would have long ceased to exist. So, if you consider yourself a friend, please learn to stick around. It’s never easy to live with the regret of “I should have tried harder,’’ especially when we get to learn how SO ALONE those we call friends feel in their trying moments.

Let’s not be too mindful of our lane to nurture our friendships, please. In friendship, what you owe the other is your attention and time…as much as possible.

Also, be ready to give them a break if they need it but let your attitude convince them that you are there-whenever they need a shoulder to lean on.

And to strangers…give a hand of friendship whenever they need one.

I once came across a saying that goes thus: “Everyone is fighting their own battle.
To be free from the past,
To live in their present,
And to create their future.
So, have a heart.’’

I will also urge the rest of us to make the task of friendship an easy one for others.

I mean, how can I know the extent of what you are going through if you don’t bring me close enough or when you have repeatedly given me a discouraging body language? I am only human!

Life will be less complicated if we all learn to communicate our needs without needless drama and /or stress.

Let your friends be there for you-once you are convinced the WILLINGNESS (on their part) is there…why shove those that care away via your attitude when their shoulder is what you actually need?

Shoving everyone away to wallow in misery makes you rather vulnerable to attitudinal toxicity. It is also strength when you let the ones who genuinely care to help you.

Finally, learn to be that SOMEONE you expect others to be to you; this (to me) is the golden rule of humanity…treating others as you would love to be treated!


In this article:
Chikwuneta Oby
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