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The real goal…

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What’s with the culture of CALLING OUT perceived ‘enemies’ on the social media?

It would seem like most updates that I came across on the social media in the past weeks had to do with one CALLING OUT or another.

A wife called out her husband’s side chic. A scorned lover heaped ‘public curses’ on the one that left him cold in the engagement arena. A wife called out a cheating husband.

Most of the rest…friends/lovers who have fallen out with one another.

What’s with the culture of calling out people? Is that some popularity gimmick? Why can’t some people simply learn to go their way when the cookies have crumbled?

I understand the anger that results from certain betrayal. And it’s OK to get mad at who has hurt you. But your (eventual) healing/happiness will also come from the way that you have handled things at ‘mad moments’.

May we become conscious of the amount of power we give to others over our lives, please? One who can make you mad enough to throw your DECORUM in the gutter sure has REAL power over you! And it should not be so.

Yes, get REALLY angry with the one who has hurt/deceived or even betrayed you. Cry your eyes out.
Cry in the arms of friends/loved ones. Roll on the floor and kick things-as you cry. Delete their contact details/pictures. Get rid of any reminders of them. Cuss them out.

If you so much need to…go demand an explanation. Report them to your mutual friends or relatives.
But LET IT END THERE!

Certain emotional moments…you make efforts to contain. Nobody heals by washing dirty linens in public. If anything, it can leave you even angrier/shame faced-when the chips are down.

And God save your emotions from certain responses from those who should (ordinarily) NOT have a say on your issues.

Again, chances are you will cringe at your current reaction…some weeks/months or even years from now. When it is said that you have no power over how another behaves to you except over your own reaction…this is it! Don’t let a rotten experience rob you of prospective ‘feel good’ moments.

Certain social media/public outburst will only succeed in keeping RESPECTABLE people off your lane.
Sometimes, the way you handle issues gives others an idea of their likely fate in your hands…should things ever go awry.

A lot of all that CALLING OUT also gives a glimpse of one’s mental state.
Otherwise, who in his/her right senses goes PUBLIC on someone whose only offence is I AM NOT INTERESTED AGAIN…for example?

Learn to lick some wounds in private. Then, find the courage to laugh again.
Honestly, certain disappointments should elicit a THANKSGIVING mode. If BETTER tidings aren’t in the horizon…the WORST doesn’t perpetuate.

It hurts to be PLAYED…I know. But, I am telling you that ACTING CRAZY publicly isn’t in your best interest, either.
Don’t dignify a LOSER that easily.

Any measure that doesn’t bring about a BETTER/STRONGER YOU isn’t a #goal!
HAPPILY MOVING ON is the real #goal.

And going for counseling/therapy is more beneficial than…
* calling out.
* trolling.
* stalking.
…no matter how bitter or shattered you feel.

“Those who disappoint are deliberate and without conscience, if you mishandle the hurt, you validate their reason for leaving, but if you are mature in your response, you keep them guessing whether they were right or wrong and each time your paths cross, they are at a loss how to respond to you.”

“Someone who has betrayed, hurt or deceived you has already affected some of your dignity (at least, in the face of those in the know), but to bring it all in public means you have no dignity for yourself.’’

“A relationship can end at any point, even without notice or reason. People should learn to accept it at that point it ends without much fuss. Nobody would answer for poor emotional discipline of any other person really.’’
I know certain betrayal hurts so much…moreso when it had to do with marriage expectations but let’s look at it this way…

If he/she didn’t act the way they did…would you have found out WHO he/she really is?
Sometimes, life opens our eyes the hard way. Don’t regret being good to or doing good for anyone.
Do what you are moved to do for anyone but keep an open mind.

If it’s meant to be…fine. If not…life goes on.

I just know that nobody who deliberately hurts others- meets a happy ending.

Honestly, if I were in the shoes of the ‘betrayed/hurting’…I will find the strength to move on and watch Karma do her thing!


In this article:
Chukwuneta Oby
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