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To the mature single woman…

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I know it’s a natural tendency for the mature single woman to cling to any semblance of love that comes her way-once loneliness sets in.“No relationship” remains better than “anyhow relationship” in my books. I am compelled to discuss this issue due to the alarming rate at which a lot of “mature single ladies” leave their emotional wellbeing/destiny in the hands of men-that do not deserve them.

There are so many reasons why the “mature single woman” should be careful about where and from whom she seeks love. At certain age, it becomes safer to date someone you are introduced to (by loved ones) or someone you operate in the same social circle with and have mutual friends with also.

Young men of this age can smell “loneliness” from afar and are usually quick to move in for the kill. There is nothing wrong with meeting a man elsewhere (the social media, etc.) but I take such relationships serious only when it is taken beyond such platforms and until you get to know more (via carrying out your own findings) about a man, please still consider yourself super single and searching…and you will find. Just don’t be desperate -lest you fall into the hands of “anybody” with a third leg.

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One thing you must understand about life is that love does not elude anybody. There is always a lover for somebody. It’s just that most of us look in the wrong places and desperately so. Another thing is the tendency to give in to despair-too fast. How much can anybody truly achieve in life with a mentality of ‘my own is finished’?

At certain age, I encourage every single lady to “play big”…join elite recreational outfits (learn golf, tennis etc.) or certain humanitarian societies, where you meet and make friends with people: of substance/with reputation to protect (you should know what I mean).Stop giving every man that flashes the ‘L’ word at you powers over your emotional wellbeing. Any worthwhile relationship should be aimed at mutual fondness and respect, not one in which one party feels he is doing the other a favour by being in the relationship.

The best way to beat loneliness is to keep busy, go back to school if you have to, continually seek to improve yourself intellectually. If you don’t travel –please start doing so. Don’t limit your chances…love can be found anywhere. And what better way to find your love, than in the course of bettering your lot? If you are busy “getting better” with yourself, you will not be keen to entertain desperate measures towards love.

Cultivate good exercise regimen to take better care of yourself. Overhaul lots of things in your life-including unhealthy diet and social circle. A woman that takes good care of herself does not lack admirers-at any age…quote me.

Finally, keep a positive mind-set…it is everything!Marriage doesn’t really solve anyone’s problems because it comes with its own challenges, like every other phase of life. If you don’t lead a fulfilled life as a single, you are not likely to do so as a married person. While single, spend a lot of your time improving yourself and having fun while at it.

I don’t encourage anybody to get saddled with someone they are not down with because of societal pressure. It takes very little for such unions to pack up and when it does, you will be back to square one…being single is much more tolerable than being in a bad marriage. Marriage does not define anybody, “who” you are defines you!


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