Love and Relationships  

Understanding The Complexities Of Female Friendships

By Oreoritse Tariemi

14 March 2022   |   10:47 am

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We can all genuinely agree that female friendships and understanding them could get complex. And while it might seem that ladies make and break up with friends ever so often, a genuine reason behind this is that they are often less inclined to explain the details of their friendships. To know why females make friends…

We can all genuinely agree that female friendships and understanding them could get complex.

And while it might seem that ladies make and break up with friends ever so often, a genuine reason behind this is that they are often less inclined to explain the details of their friendships.

To know why females make friends and breakup with them soon, its crucial to begin by understanding to the complexities of female friendships.

However, one detail so widely agreed on is that female friendships are rich and intensely satisfying. Although this, when contextualized in myths of women being competitive, insecure and catty, gives room for confusion and splits in many cases.

Roxanne Gay explains this in Bad Feminist “Abandon the cultural myth that all female friendships must be bitchy, toxic, or competitive,” she says. “This myth is like heels and purses – pretty but designed to SLOW women down.”

One interesting yet totally agreed upon detail is that the emotional intimacy of female friendships creates room for competition about connection and who they consider their closest friends.

In navigating through life, women are more willing to share all the details with their female friends, and while this makes them more prone to ‘gossip’, it also provides support for them when they go through difficult times and need help or a safe space to vent.

Being great listeners and sharers, female friends are more likely to listen to context and how an issue makes them feel before giving needed advice. The willingness to take time out to listen to each other first sends a meta-message of how much they care for one another.

However, this emotional dependency becomes far more gratifying when they fall out, especially when one party does not know why a friend is ending her relationship. This becomes really hurtful as knowing what’s going on is a big part of friendship.

Female friendships all in all address deep psychological issues, identity issues and boundaries. Especially for teenagers and young adults, these friendships play a huge role in figuring out who they are providing this and companionship and comfort.

As novelist Alice Adams once said “I think women know how to be friends. That’s what saves our lives.”

A lot rides on these friendships, it is no surprise that this strain on relationships could sometimes cause them to crash and burn.

A strong friendship requires effort, not from one party but all parties involved. Adult friendships are difficult and female friendships can’t be just black and white. They might come off as messy and complicated, but they are also tender and delicate.

Finding that equilibrium and balance is the first rule to becoming friends for life.

As Gloria Steinem says, “Women understand.” We understand that there is a continuing struggle for our sex to be seen, heard, and valued in the same way as men. Our most excellent chance to combat sexual discrimination and gender inequality are to fight it together. That’s what women have been doing for years, and it’s led to some of the most effective changes to society and culture.