Some lessons from Papa

Our father Sir, P. O. Erhabor died eight years ago, at the ripe age of 93 years. It is impossible to reproduce in this short piece, several pertinent lessons he taught us his children and other persons. On the night he expired, he constantly called on the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob for mercy. To us believers, the God of the Biblical Patriarchs has revealed Himself in the person of our Lord Jesus Christ. After he died, papa’s countenance radiated such serenity and peace indicative of the fact that an angel indisputably took him home.

Our father was very humble. He didn’t discriminate on the basis of sex, class, religion, education, status and so on. He lived a life of sacrifice, devoid of ostentation, undue flamboyance, razzmatazz and showmanship. He taught us the virtues of modesty, contentment and unpretentiousness.

Papa was very spiritual. He loved to pray especially with the psalms. He fasted often, particularly the Lenten fast of 40 days. He also fasted twice weekly. He served God and the Church according to light. He was at various times the Chairman of the Church Harvest Committee, of the then Zone one of the Holy Cross Catholic Cathedral, Benin. He stood firmly against embezzlement of church funds for which he fell out with certain persons who had benefited in the past from illegal application, appropriation and use of the resources of the church.

He hardly missed early morning mass daily even if it rained cats and dogs or in extreme cold weather. He was a member of some societies especially in his younger years like St. Vincent De Paul, Lay Readers Association and some prayer groups in the church. He was also a Knight of the Catholic Church of the order of St. Mulumba.

Papa was very studious and when his sight deteriorated, he always enlisted any available person to read out to him. He read religious books of all denominations, the Bible and some Old English authors. He introduced books like Gulliver’s Travels, David Copperfield, Pride and Prejudice and some others to me. He also read some fascinating biographies and autobiographies of people like Zik of Africa, Winston Churchill, some popes like Pope John the 23rd, Pope Pius and several others I cannot readily recollect now.

He gave good education to his children and other relatives who stayed with mama and himself. Papa was a stickler for excellence and moral probity. Papa wrote of his daily activities in several diaries. He was quite meticulous about that. I could only lay my hands on one or two of the diaries as one of us has custody of a greater number of them. Reading them gives one tremendous inspiration and shows the loving heart of our late father. He was indeed a man of purpose, who was made of sterner stuff.

Papa was very careful about his health. He tried to keep fit by engaging in regular walks. He abstained from alcohol completely and conscientiously took his various drugs. In a way, he operated a mini pharmacy, consisting of recommended drugs, and some supplements. He had children as doctors in various medical areas who recommended the drugs. He always insisted on having a good rest especially, his afternoon nap. Papa detested noise making and pandemonium. He tried to eat well especially fruits if he was not fasting. He broke his regular fasts with bananas, paw-paw, apples, oranges and so on.

He was operated upon for prostate cancer as an octogenarian, but he still lived for more than 10 years thereafter, because of his faith in God and strict compliance with the doctor’s instructions.

Papa loved his wife and family dearly. He may have had disagreements with mama, but he stood by her against anyone who wished to undermine her at home or anywhere else. I remember when mama gave her humongous last harvest offering as Chairman of the Church harvest before papa’s death, he encouraged all of us to support her and painstakingly kept record of the money received and donated to the church.

Papa was a very conscientious public officer in his days as a worker with the Nigeria Railway Corporation (NRC). He worked in various stations and retired as Vice Principal of the Railway School, which was then at Ebute Meta. He was always punctual to his place of work and diligent. He always drummed it into our ears and hearts on the need to be very serious with our jobs, and maintain high moral probity and excellent relationship with our colleagues at work.

His own working life served as a reference point to us at all times. After retirement, he still bonded with some of his erstwhile colleagues, many who are now dead. I can recollect some of such great fathers like Pa Idemudia, Pa Uwaifo, Pa Adejo, Pa Ikponmwen, Pa Adeleke and so on.

Papa became the head of his extended family, what Binis call “Okaegbe” for some years before his demise. He provided effective and loving leadership to his extended family. He refused however to take the “Ukhure” or family deity into his custody, as a persuaded Christian, he refrained from all forms of idolatry. Papa had a large heart. He always forgave those who offended him. Although papa was a quintessential Catholic faithful, he was ecumenical in his practical Christian relationships and experience. He loved to listen to great Pentecostal preachers like the Late Archbishop Idahosa, Pastor Adeboye, his son, Prof. Greg and a host of other great teachers of the word of God.

He also attended protestant churches when invited. He loved the music of Late Apostle Ogbonmwan, a great Benin Church founder and composer of very meaningful and cogent songs. Papa also spoke nostalgically of the visit of the late Billy Graham to Nigeria, and how he enjoyed his very purposeful salvation messages. Eight years after his death, I can say with great confidence and joy that perhaps apart from the Triune God my maker, papa has had the greatest influence on my life. Rest on great and dear soul.
• Hon. Justice A. N. Erhabor is a serving Judge of the Edo State judiciary and write from Benin City.