Adieu to an amazing Patriarch, foster Father

As I pen this tribute to the Lion (Awolo) of my family, Papa BO Udemagwuna, I could not control my tears. Where do I even begin to express my gratitude and love for everything you have done for me?

Your selflessness, patience and unwavering support have been a constant source of strength and inspiration in my life. You did not only teach me how to do business, you also taught me book-keeping and how to take record of sales. You nurtured me spiritually and gave me the baptismal name “Gabriel”.

I had thought the five-mouth piece of Koboko you always used on me as a teenager was maltreatment, but now I know better; that you were only trying to shape my life and reset my brain for what I was to face in future.

You never allowed me to mingle or socialise with peers or step out of the shop, which I managed for our family. You built me to be strong. Your care for me started from infancy.

I remember with nostalgia, as a child, how you loaded kinsmen into your Peugeot Pick Up van to Owa-Oyibu to report my maternal family to the Obi of Owa for their insistence on having me live with them, after all, all traditional bride price on my mum was fulfilled by the Udemagwunas. You kept fighting until I was returned in 1990.

You insisted I will not live with my father, since he was not married. You and your darling wife, God bless her soul, took me at age nine and nurtured me all through secondary education.

Your discipline kept me focused. You did not stop at that; after my secondary education at PBGS, Issele-Uku, I moved to Lagos. You instructed me to go and live with my cousin, Chidiebele Stella Ogwugwua, and you were still footing our accommodation bills.

There, I put the business and trade training you gave me to practice. I sold all kinds of articles at Palmgrove Bus Stop. These could not have been possible if you had not groomed me to survive in any situation. I followed your legacy even till higher education, where I sold all kinds of goods to survive.

You were always proud of me and ready to announce to the world how brilliant I was. You were the only person who made me feel what a father looks like. You did not discriminate against me anytime I had issues with my siblings; you always wanted to hear from me and at the end of the day, you and your darling wife and amazon of high value, Mrs. Martha Udemagwuna, would take sides with me. I will not forget.

I remember when you joyfully travelled to Lagos to deliver my WAEC result with amazing joy in your heart. You toiled for my father and also toiled for me. You are indeed more than a father.

You opened your heart and home to me when I needed it most, providing a safe haven and a sense of belonging. Your guidance, wisdom and encouragement have helped shape me into the man I am today.

Your kindness, empathy and understanding have been a beacon of hope, helping me navigate life’s challenges with confidence and resilience. You have shown me that family is not just about biology, but about love, care and commitment.

You’ve been a rock, mentor and true father-figure in every sense of the word. Thank you so very much for being an extraordinary foster father. I love and appreciate you more than words can express. Papa, you are a legend for life.
Dalushinnenadimozele. Uwaoma sir, forever.
• Odita Sunday-Udemagunais Head, Defence & Security Affairs of The Guardian.