The Science And Art Of Attraction (2)
The Purpose Of Etiquette And Image
IF people perceive you to have a good image and a good heart towards them, they will be more subject to your influence and authority.
Having a good heart towards another person does not equal being walked over and taken for granted.
Granted, some of these things can happen either way but you shouldn’t lose your personal dignity or self respect.
Sometimes, when we see people who live to please others it is because they want to be liked at all costs and can be said to be truly living for themselves. When your goal is not to please people but to make a true investment in their lives if possible, you might not win their hearts but you will win their respect.
It takes having a greater purpose to be able to do what is right even if the price seems costly at first. True friends are those who can tell you what no one else dares tell you.
“Open rebuke is better than secret love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” (Proverbs 27:5-6) KJV
Having said that, we see that the attributes of a good presentation and of harmonious relationships are not meant to be used for deception but to exhort, rebuke, encourage and honour others.
Attributes Of An Attractive Personality
Deference And Courtesy: By deference and courtesy I mean polite and considerate expressions (by word or by deed) of which we esteem or regard others. Respect and consideration for anyone and everyone is a priceless attribute to behold in children and an admirable quality when witnessed in adults.
It is not for you to decide who deserves respect or not, it is for you to give it. How can we tell who is who in this complex world? How can you know what manner of challenges your neighbor faces? We should never judge, for what we know and understand is very limited; but we should be vessels that give strength and grace to everyone.
As Solomon said “I have seen slaves on horses, and princes walking on the ground like slaves”. (Ecclesiastes 10:7) ESV.
Appearances are never what they seem. It will be a shame if on the day we stand before God we find that we have failed to honour those whom are most deserving. Let’s start with a simple, heartfelt greeting.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? You therefore must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” (Matthew 5:43-48) KJV
Physical Attractiveness And Proper Grooming: “Thy teeth are like a flock of sheep that are even shorn, which came up from the washing; whereof every one bear twins, and none is barren among them”(Songs of Solomon 4:2) KJV
Yup; you can’t have teeth that look pearly white like…washed sheep…each with its own partner, if your teeth aren’t healthy. I know this verse does have a deeper meaning but it is worthy to note that the beauty of physical attractiveness is used to annotate great truths.
God adorns the lilies of the valley in better array than the richest king ever could adorn himself.
Let’s take a cue from that – you can’t find a plant of flower that is too dressed up – in fact, their beauty is in their simplicity and natural allure. Likewise, we must not let what we put on overshadow our attributes. Rather, we are to accentuate our natural attributes with proper grooming, simplicity, moderation and yes, appropriate physical adornment. If there is any way a man or woman can truly standout it is by being individual.
Emotional Soundness And Cheerfulness: “Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice.” (Phlippians 4:4) KJV
No one is asking you to change your temperament…well, unless you have a sour one. As opposed to happiness being dependent on the prevailing atmosphere, being happy or even joyful is a matter of choice. That being said, you cannot be happy if you’re not on the right track. When you know that you are on the right track in life, no matter what comes your way, it can never keep you down. By all means, we ought to be sober when the situation requires it and jovial when and where it is appropriate, but never let you emotional stability be dependent on other people or circumstance.
Emotional stability or soundness comes to play when everything is in its right perspective. That means that you shouldn’t be looking to your wife, or your children or your job to give your life purpose and meaning when only a relationship with God can give you that.
If necessary, get healed of emotional hurts at the feet of Jesus. Get your life in perspective regularly at His Feet.
After you have done this, you’ll be surprised how easy it is to rest in peace that surpasses understanding and how fluent you will be in laughter.
Spiritual Stability: “Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth”. (3Jn 1:2) KJV
First things first; you cannot put the cart before the horse. If your soul prospers then everything else will follow suit. If you’re born again, you spirit is now a life giving spirit – you no longer exist as just a living soul.
Therefore, if you renew your mind and walk in newness of life – yes you will have challenges like everyone else does, but true victory will always be yours and above all, peace that flows like a river.
You can’t know true prosperity if you work on every other area of your life in detriment to your spirit; everything you think you have gained will prove to be worthless. However, godliness is profitable in all things, having the promise of the life that now is and that which is to come. (1 Timothy 4:8)