‘I love to see women opening and holding doors for others’

Tessinita Okoye is an impact driven tech-savvy marketing specialist with over eight years industry experience and a computer science educational background, particularly skilled in web development and IT support. Through her mental health tech startup Better You and Friends, she is building the future of mental healthcare with the primary goal of democratisation of the mental healthcare sector.

Take us through your life trajectory and educational background?
I grew up in Asaba, Delta State, Nigeria, in an average-income household with my parents and four younger siblings. My childhood was interesting, shaped by being homeschooled in my early formative years and raised in a sheltered and strict upbringing; my mum was a stay-at-home mum until my dad tragically passed away in 2009 in an accident during a trip we took together. I was in my teens then, and this incident forced me to mature faster than I would have liked. I pursued my interests in science and went on to study Computer Science Education at university. In 2016 and 2017, I transitioned into blogging, which launched me into the tech space. I learned to build websites when the developer I hired didn’t meet my expectations, and I acquired digital marketing skills to drive traffic to my blog. As a multipotentialite, I explored various aspects of building an online business.

My passion for serving others and helping businesses has allowed me to support small to medium-sized online businesses in the US, Canada, and the UK over the past seven years. In 2022, I became the full-time founder of Better You and Friends, an early-stage innovative venture registered in the UK and US, focused on mental health – a personal struggle of mine. I aim to revolutionise the global mental healthcare sector by addressing the lack of personalised and socioeconomic class-inclusive support through the use of advanced AI, Community led strategies, self-help and professional therapy/counselling. Additionally, I took on project-based roles, including serving as the project administrator for the Reclaim Tech Project with UN Women UK. From a small-town girl in Nigeria with no influential or wealthy connections to running a multinational startup headquartered in London and leading a project for a United Nations organisation, my journey feels surreal. I still have moments where I pinch myself in disbelief at the life I now lead.

As a tech-savvy marketing specialist, how have you been able to infuse your experiences into running a mental health related startup?
My experiences working with various businesses over the past seven years has been instrumental in running Better You and Friends. It feels as though every skill I acquired during my tech journey was preparing me for this role. From product development to people management, each aspect of my previous experiences has aligned perfectly with the needs of the company. Starting with minimal resources meant I had to wear many hats, handling most tasks myself and outsourcing to freelancers or tech companies only when absolutely necessary. Without my prior experience, I would have been too overwhelmed to bring this company to life. I wouldn’t have known where to start, and with limited funds, hiring external talent wasn’t an option. My background in tech and marketing provided me with the necessary skills and confidence to navigate these challenges, ensuring the company had a strong foundation to build upon.

How huge has tech been in the discharge of your work?
Technology is at the core of everything we do. As a mental health tech company, we leverage the power of technology to transform a basic healthcare system that is long overdue for innovation. Tech enables us to develop scalable solutions, provide personalised support, and create a more accessible and inclusive mental health care system. Without it, our mission to revolutionise mental health care would not be possible.

Your primary goal is to democratise the mental healthcare sector, how are you achieving this?
The current mental healthcare system often relies on generic solutions, such as recommending therapy for everyone, which can elevate the stigma around mental health. At Better You and Friends, we aim to leverage advanced AI, community-led strategies, self-help programmes, and professional therapy/counselling to create more personalised and affordable support. This approach makes mental healthcare accessible to all socioeconomic classes. Given my lifelong personal struggles with mental health, which led me to start this company, I believe I am uniquely positioned to build it.

Alongside my skills, I bring valuable user experience and perspective, enabling us to develop a product that genuinely helps others like me. The post-COVID world has left many people feeling disconnected, withdrawn, and isolated, with the WHO declaring loneliness an epidemic. These factors contribute to the increasing prevalence of poor mental health globally. We believe there is no one-size-fits-all solution for mental health. Therefore, we are not just building another app but are committed to elevating lives and fostering connections – both with one’s feelings and with others. Now is the perfect time to tackle this pressing issue, and we are dedicated to making a meaningful impact.

How are you ensuring that the app cuts across continents, since you are based in the UK and you are African. How are you syncing this to add value to your country of origin?
We are building for a global market, ensuring our product is accessible not just in the UK and the US but beyond. I am particularly passionate about improving mental healthcare in Africa, especially Nigeria, where discussing mental health is often considered taboo. Nigeria is my home, no matter where I go, and it’s crucial to me that we make an impact there. Starting in the UK and US is allowing us to build a stable system, which we can then deploy in Africa. In Nigeria, there’s significant work to be done, from educating people properly about mental health to destigmatising the topic. Our current product can be accessed from Nigeria, and we are keen to expand and establish a physical presence across the continent. I am committed to directing resources toward developing mental healthcare support in Nigeria, tackling stigma, and ensuring that our solutions are culturally relevant and accessible. Our goal is to create a system that not only addresses mental health issues but also fosters understanding and acceptance across diverse communities. To support this vision, we are currently running a private fundraising alongside a crowdfunding campaign. We are looking to partner with investors who share our vision or are interested in the global mental health market, which is worth over $380 billion. Their support will help us bring our vision to life and make a substantial impact on mental healthcare globally.

What advice do you have for women on dealing and managing their mental health?
According to statistics published by mentalhealth.org, women are three times more likely than men to struggle with common mental health problems such as depression and anxiety. This is largely due to societal expectations, the psychological effects of gender roles and inequality, and the intense hormonal changes women undergo. Consequently, many women struggle with undiagnosed disorders, which affect various aspects of their lives, and the lack of access to crucial help and support exacerbates the situation. My advice for every woman is to start by educating yourself about your body and mind, and understanding what’s normal and what isn’t. Women often put others before themselves, looking after everyone else first, but we must begin to unlearn this habit. It’s crucial to prioritise our mental health and well-being. Only when we take care of our own bodies and minds can we truly take care of others effectively. Additionally, seeking professional mental health support is essential. Speak to a therapist or counselor, or seek community-led support depending on your financial capacity and what’s accessible to you. Not doing anything about your mental health is simply not acceptable. Taking action, no matter how small, is vital for your well-being.

What are your thoughts on the ratio of men to women with mental health challenges?
This is very complex and can often come off as a multifaceted issue, the ratio of men to women experiencing mental health challenges is influenced by several factors. Women are often more likely to be diagnosed with conditions like depression and anxiety. This can be attributed to societal pressures and gender roles, which can add significant stress. Biological factors, such as hormonal changes related to menstruation, pregnancy, and menopause, also play a role. Additionally, women tend to seek help for mental health issues more readily than men, leading to higher reported rates among women. Men, on the other hand, may be less likely to seek help due to societal stigma around masculinity, resulting in underreporting. Due to biological differences and societal expectations – men and women may also manifest mental health issues differently, with men exhibiting more external behaviours such as anger or substance abuse, while women might show more internal symptoms like sadness or withdrawal. Addressing mental health for both genders requires reducing stigma, encouraging help-seeking behaviours, and providing tailored support to meet their unique needs.

What drives you for success and how do you stay inspired?
If I could answer this question in two words, they would be “faith and love.” My success and inspiration is deeply rooted in my faith in God and my love for people. I strive to step into roles and opportunities that align with God’s calling for me, while also uplifting others. My love for God and people is the core of who I am and everything I have. If you see me and feel inspired, know that Jesus is my pathway.

What do you hope to see women do differently?
I am very passionate about women empowerment. Besides my work with UN Women, I lead a faith-based community of 400+ women in London. From my experience, I would love to see more women opening and holding doors for other women, not just talking about it but actually walking the talk. True empowerment comes from actions, not just words. I hope to see women move away from competitive attitudes, such as the “not enough pie” syndrome, and become each other’s strongest and biggest allies. By fostering a supportive environment, we can create a more empowering and inclusive community for all women.

What is your life mantra?
I live by several mantras, but one that encapsulates my attitude towards life, business, and relationships is: “Always bring your A game to the table or sit it out.” I believe that anything worth doing is worth doing well. Never half-ass anything – always show up and bring your best. Your best may vary depending on the season of life you’re in, but the key is to consistently give your all. This commitment to excellence, regardless of circumstances, is the principle I live by.