What if the way you praise, comfort and tend to your child’s needs is slowly molding their understanding of gender, without you even knowing? In your parenting journey, it is important to apply principles of gender equality, in such a way that your child gets a balanced view on gender norms in the society.
Gender-responsive parenting helps you ensure that your children grow up without the drawback of gender stereotypes; your child will learn to follow their interests and emotions without thinking about any societal expectations. It is your way of playing your part in ending the cycle of gender discrimination.
Create an environment that promotes equal treatment at all times. Particularly for parents of both male and female children, learn to show love and care for all your children equally. Whether it is gifts, discipline or affection – never tilt to one gender for any reason. Have your male and female children play, read and even eat together. Allow them to develop together, regardless of their gender.
It’s important to note that gender-responsive parenting isn’t about completing erasing gender from the minds of kids, but about opening their minds to possibilities. Some children are given some wrong perceptions growing up. For example, some children are told things like “Men don’t cry” and “Women aren’t meant to lead” – such statements erroneously shape the mindset of children into thinking they are any less of who they are when they break free from these restrictions.
Keep in mind that your goal is to let them know that they can be anything, feel everything and be exactly who they are meant to be. Be very mindful of the words you use around them, and the things you say about them.
What behaviours do you mirror in front of your child? What scenarios are they regularly exposed to? Boys grow up all their lives without seeing their father’s express any ounce of emotion, because they always hide their vulnerability. Many girls are given all the house chores, while the boys sit around doing nothing, without offering any assistance.
Many years down the line, you would discover that you have raised men who couldn’t be bothered about helping their wives in their own homes. Show your child it is okay to express emotion. As a father, help out their mothers every now and then with some of the house chores. Let them see firsthand how tasks around the house aren’t limited to the women only.
Also, give your child some diverse role models to look up to. Show them stories of male nurses and chefs, female scientists and astronauts. Allow them dream wide and far, devoid of any gender limitations. Support their dreams, and always let them know that their ambitions are fully valid. Be intentional.
