Saying No might just be your greatest liberty
Good things, they say, come to those who wait. Some even say, “waiting in the place of frustration and sadness is a great virtue that should not be traded for anything”. But in my not so nice tone, I would tell them, “any virtue that will cause me my happiness and sound mind will one day bring my life to a debasement.”
When it comes to living our authentic life, there are lots of things happening around us that restrict us from doing things they way we would have done them. Because of these same things, we tend to compromise a lot. That is why we say thing like “I would have done it, if this didn’t happen or better still I would have studied that, if this didn’t happen”. Excuses, some are really understandable while some are just outrageous, we cover up for our compromise. Most often than not, people ask for things a lot more than they give, although some will never accept it. They ask for your hand, advice, attention, your love, time, money and expect to get your yes all the time.
Saying NO is one of the hardest things to do especially in this part of the world where we barely say things the way they are. Hence, shying away from reality. Why can’t we just learn how not to lie to ourselves?
If you truly want to live life to the fullest, you need to start learning how to add NO to your sentences. Yes has been used more often with no esteem and regard. This has made it lose its value, thereby making no an expensive commodity.
A lot of people perceive NO as unpleasant and rude, but it is actually not true. No is a tool of liberation that helps you stand your ground and set your mind in the right position. It is like a sieve that filters your mind and attitude from the garbage society brings. Saying NO when you need to helps to boost your self-esteem. For some who are struggling with issues of the emotions, when you picture all the unpleasant situations and then fixing no right in front of them and standing by your no, you begin to live genuinely in high esteem.
In his research on “Taking Control of your Mind”, Dr. Joseph Mercola explained that learning how to say no when you are overburdened could easily be described as the best secret to happiness. He insisted that saying no when you are burnout; helps boost your productivity, improves your focus and lets you achieve your ultimate and personal goals.
Most of the time, we do not actually know for sure the things we want from life. Thus we can’t say yes to them in affirmation, saying NO to the things we don’t want automatically brings us to saying yes to the things we want. For example, saying “No, I will not sit and watch myself go out of shape”, takes you to “Yes, I will work out more, eat less and stay healthy.”
If you don’t learn how to tell people “No, I can’t do that”, when put in a tight corner, then you are only telling them “Yes, I will endure,” and that is the beginning of more troubles because no one has the ability to endure to the end.
Have you ever noticed, when you say YES instead of NO, you always look back and feel totally helpless? People struggle and suffer unnecessarily because they haven’t learnt how to say no; note that a life without a “no” is a life of self-denial. Too much YES makes you gullible and we all know that those who are gullible are the easiest people to deceive. That is totally unhealthy for anyone.
However, your no doesn’t have to come out as rude or unpleasant; sometimes you have to peacefully say no to things and people. You might as well try to use more words like, don’t, won’t, can’t etc. Most importantly, make sure you consciously stand by your no, withholding nothing at all.
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