Sometime in the past week, I met up with one of my very good friends for dinner. In this concrete jungle called Lahgos, we try and have these meets ups at least once a month, to catch up, explore good food, and err… gossip. Of course. But on this particular day, this friend of mine, I’ll call her Flow, who’s usually the life of the party… and a foodie was unusually taciturn and picked listlessly at her food.

“Babe, are you okay?”
“Yea I’m fine, I’m just tired.”
“Too tired for the pasta?”
Again, another listless shrug.
Hian!

After much prodding from me, she finally shared what was on her mind. She was about to quit a new business enterprise which she’d started a little over a year ago. “Fran, I feel like such a failure! The whole thing is so challenging, I want to close it down.”Now this here friend of mine is an entrepreneur, a very successful agripereneur to be precise; supplying poultry and agricultural produce to some of the major grocery chains and hotels in the South West region of Nigeria. She started out from her mother’s kitchen in Bariga, and in about 5 years, employs a total of nearly 100 people, and is also in the process of buying acres of land to go into farming. Last year she had expanded her business into packaging of dried food for export, and it did seem as though things were going well in that area. Apparently not.
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“The cost of production has more than quadrupled. First we were dealing with a lack of foreign exchange to do business, and now the devaluation of the Naira, means we have to constantly adjust and re-adjust our prices, losing some of our international customers in the process. “
“So why don’t you close it down” I ask reasonably. You know? “re-evaluate and restructure it?”
Mind you, I’m newly minted, fresh off the plane from Business School, so I felt very qualified to give her this “expert” (unsolicited) advice.
“Haaa! People will think I’ve failed.”
“How?” I ask incredulously?

So therein lay the problem. My friend, who is running a thriving, rapidly growing business that employs a large number of people, is afraid of closing down an unprofitable business enterprise, because “people will think she has failed.” Incredible!
I was about to give her an earful about being unreasonable and illogical, when I realized how hypocritical that would sound.
I’ve fought the fear of failure you see. I fight it every day in different ways, and I suspect everyone does too.

“What if I fail?”
“What if people laugh at me?”
“What if this thing doesn’t work?”
“What if I don’t get funding?”
“What if this idea tanks?”
“What if nobody likes what I create?”
“What if I die before I lose 30 pounds?”
“What if my dreams don’t really take flight?”
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And so on and so forth. Sometimes, we let the fear of failure keep us from flying. Have you heard about Beyonce, JK Rowling, and yes, even Oprah Winfrey? I think you have. They are all hugely successful women, big brands, thriving careers and businesses. But they failed. Read about them. Learn about how they rebounded from failure and made the world take notice. It wasn’t easy. It still isn’t easy for them. Buy hey, “No guts, no glory” right? Besides I think the more colossally you fail, the more room you give for a spectacular comeback.

This is not meant to be all those sweet-saccharine-like-unrealistic-type pieces that do zero for you. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE being inspired. But I also think there’s a place for affirmative action as well. Recognize that there are challenges, that life will always throw your curveballs, and that it’s only the ones who stay determined, focused, and uncompromisingly yielded to their vision, that succeed.
And don’t be afraid to fail. Failure just means that you have another chance to get it right and do better.
So how was your week?

Francesca Uriri, a published writer, is the Founder of Leading Ladies Africa; a women empowerment non-profit that celebrates the lives of African women, and promotes gender inclusion.