Ayo Lawrence is a renowned expert in people and systems organisation, known for her problem-solving skills. She’s a Transformational Coach with certifications in Family Systems Engineering, NLP and Emotional Intelligence. Ayo leads professional counseling programmes and serves on boards of esteemed organisations. She’s the Co-Founder of EL-CUBED International Limited, with two decades of leadership experience.
Ayo hosts the Balanced ME™ Show and created the Balanced ME™ Toolbox App. She’s the Convener of Hannah’s Conference, Journey to Wholeness and Founder of GrandCoeur Empowerment Initiative. A dedicated family person, Ayo is married to Oluwafemi Bernard and has three children. Her journey reflects a commitment to making a lasting impact through passion and wisdom. In this interview with ESTHER IJEWERE, she shares her story.
Childhood influence
I was born on Saturday, December 27, 1975 with bloodshot eyes and freckled cheeks at Olalomi Hospital, Ilorin, Kwara State, at exactly 1.45 pm WAT. I was a chubby child who weighed eight pounds 12 ounces (3.97 kilogramme, approximately 4 kilogramme) at birth.
Everyone was excited at my addition to an already existing family of six – Dad, Late Sir (Chief) Ayodele Olawepo Oyinloye; Mum, Lady (Chief Mrs) Dorcas Adenike Fehintola Oyinloye; two elder brothers, Adetokunbo Olaniyi Oyinloye (Bratoks) and Adegboyega Ibiyinka Oyinloye (Brazeg); and two elder sisters, Adefunke Folasade Ayo-Oyinloye (SisFola) and Adesola Olufunmilayo Oyinloye-Ndu (SisSola). History has it that my paternal grandma, Late Chief (Mrs) Rachel Olagbenjo Oyinloye and my immediate elder sister (SisSola), who is six years older than me, desperately wanted another grandchild and sister respectively from my parents, and voila, I came! Not just that, I was born on the same day as my parents’ first housewarming, hence the name ‘Ayodeji’ which means ‘double joy’ was given to me in addition to Adelodun, Mopelola, Omobolanle, Iyinolamikan, Adenike (I named myself this one after my mum) and Abike (which is my cognomen).
Dad and mum had me after dad’s retirement as a school principal while mum was still a teacher. In the course of time, dad got an appointment on contract as the chairman of Kwara State Schools Board. I learnt he would take me to work, keep me in my pram, feed me, change my clothes and nappy, soothe me when I cried and rocked me to sleep. He was such a phenomenal dad.
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Mum was a huge influence in my formative years. Being the child of her old age (she had me at age 39), she doted on me a great deal. I attended the midweek services in church such as the Women’s Guild prayer meetings of the Anglican Communion with her. My first close encounter with the raw display of God’s power was at these meetings!
My growing up years with them were filled with so much fun. There were nights I would leave my room, sneak into their room and cuddle up in between the two of them on the bed. Our last child has done this to hubby and I several times. I enjoyed the late night snack of bread soaked in hot chocolate.
SisFola usually arranges for this because it was an opportunity for her to have a bite, too. I can’t forget the way she soaks Ijebu garri (cassava flakes) in cold water and sugar and we would take it together from the same bowl.
I remember Brazeg loosening my hair, carrying me on his back, and generally adoring me all the way. SisSola took it upon herself to watch over me during my nursery school years. She was even spanked on one occasion for cleaning me up at the general school water tap when I pooped on myself. And Bratoks, my eldest brother, was just very fond of teasing me.
In our home, there was no difference between boys and girls. Boys cooked, girls washed cars. We are just humans! We were all exposed to solid and well-rounded education. Our parents gave us the best they could afford. I am so grateful. Thanks, dad and mum.
Growing up as the last child of the house was such a delight. I was pampered and loved by all. At different times, we had cousins, aunties and uncles live with us. Our house was always a full one. I recall a time when we had 20 souls sleeping, waking up and doing life in our four-bedroom house. At night, some would sleep on the floor of the living room or bed rooms or the hallway that we called ‘passage.’
Meal times were happy times. We all ate in the dining room, taking turns. Most times, dad and mum ate last. They always ensured we had enough to eat – what a show of love! We had a favourite big pot used for cooking meals. My parents were very keen on eating well, so I grew up eating three square meals! Even during the days of austerity measures, the number of meals never reduced, although the animal protein in the meals went through major changes as we began to apply fractions to them. So we had two pieces of meat shared among three individuals or one piece of meat between two people. I always looked forward to the summer holidays when the house will be empty – just our parents, my siblings and me at home. I yearned for some nuclear family time.
On one of the summer holidays, I made my first trip to Lagos with my mum. It was also my first time on an aeroplane and it felt really good. We visited with my uncles, aunts and their families – Engr. Samuel Oyinloye, Mrs. Margaret Oyinloye, Mrs. Omolara Jejeloye, late Mr. Jejeloye, late Chief (Mrs.) Victoria Fatoki, late Mr. Kayode Oyebanji and Mrs. Omolola Oyebanji. It was a holiday I thoroughly enjoyed.
The child protection policy in our home stated that ‘no older one should beat the younger ones; instead, report them to dad or mum.’ When anyone flouted this policy, they were dealt with appropriately. Dad’s British or made in Britain belt did justice to culprits. All through dad’s life, he only spanked me twice! The first time was when he sternly warned me not to eat my plate of rice in the sitting room. I declined, telling him that not a grain will fall to the ground but unfortunately, as I tried settling down on the cushioned chair to eat, the plate slid and the rice poured. This was followed with a few strokes of the cane on my hand. The second time was when I spanked Adedayo, my nephew and parents’ first grandchild. After this, I told myself no more.
How she became a Transformational Coach
I found out early I was interested in the family, passionate about the home front. I have always counseled using native intelligence. But in 2018 January I decided to take a certification in Family Systems Engineering and this exposed me to working with individuals using coaching, therapy and strategy.
On her Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) and Emotional Intelligence expertise
It is important we look at what NLP and Emotional Intelligence is. NLP is a system of alternative therapy intended to educate people in self-awareness and effective communication, and to model and change their patterns of mental and emotional behaviour.
Emotional Intelligence is the capacity to be aware of, control and express one’s emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically. It is the key to both personal and professional success.
With these understanding, deploying these two tools ensures our clients are well supported.
Impact of being a Certified Mediator with a specialty in Family Mediation
There was this couple at the edge of going their separate ways before I waded in and guided them in making an informed decision of working out their relationship.
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How she manages her roles at GrandCoeur Empowerment Initiative and The Praying
Hannah’s Ministry
I am so blessed with the gift of men who go over and beyond to ensure things move. I have learnt over the years to delegate and allow myself do only what I can do.
Inspiration behind the Balanced ME™ Show
I believe every relationship can work and life easy once the knowledge gap is bridged with the parties involved willing and intentional in all their dealings. Here we learn, relearn and unlearn; we share knowledge around life principles essential for blooming, that is, living to the fullest. We get comments from and answer questions asked by our participants such that individuals experience clarity and bliss as they live out their authentic selves. We look at love, life and everything in-between.
Navigating the challenges of running EL-CUBED International Limited
One major significant challenge is letting our employees go as a result of non-performance; being able to walk through this process can be challenging. But with proper HR support it gets professionally handled.
Working with difficult clients – I remind myself they are doing the best they can with what they know.
Motivating pessimistic clients – This I do by making them see the advantages that come with being optimistic.
Building trust with clients – Here I work ethically with integrity of heart, honouring the confidentiality agreement.
Holding clients accountable – This I do by ensuring clients follow through their commitments.
Other projects and activities
We have immersive short coaching programmmes curated for pre-teens, teens and young adults. Also our latest baby launched is the Pre-Dating Coaching Programme that prepares our participants for dating, courting and marriage by making them aware of their strengths, areas of improvements, tendencies and triggers, amongst other things.
Work-life balance
I thrive on systems and structures which we have been able to put in place in our home. I use the Balanced Me 30 Minutes Time Blocker to manage my time and it has been effective in living a harmonious life. I de-clutter my life from time to time to focus on the very important things in each season I find myself. I won’t fail to mention that I rely heavily on God, my source of total supply
Three women who inspire her
The three women that inspire me are one, Apostle Folorunso Alakija, a successful entrepreneur and minister of the gospel of Christ Jesus. Two, Oprah Winfrey, the woman born poor in rural Mississippi to a soldier and an unwed teenage mother who defied all odds and is now one of the richest self-made women in America, according to Forbes. She stresses the importance of spending and investing your money on/in what you truly believe in. Three, Lisa Nichols, the legendary speaker whose show, The Lisa Nichols Show, opened my eyes to the possibilities that lie within me.
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