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Things to avoid in a relationship as a woman

By Itoro Oladokun
28 January 2025   |   11:05 am
A healthy relationship thrives on mutual respect, trust, and understanding. But sometimes, unintentional actions or attitudes can chip away at that foundation. As a woman, there are certain things you must stop yourself from doing to maintain a strong and fulfilling bond. Losing your identity It’s easy to fall into the trap of molding your…

A healthy relationship thrives on mutual respect, trust, and understanding. But sometimes, unintentional actions or attitudes can chip away at that foundation. As a woman, there are certain things you must stop yourself from doing to maintain a strong and fulfilling bond.

Losing your identity

It’s easy to fall into the trap of molding your life completely around your partner. In fact, with news of divorce flying around daily, you should invest more in your relationship but do not lose yourself in the process. Do not forget to nurture your passions, friendships, and goals. Relationship is an aspect of life and not the entirety; it’s meant to complement your life, not consume it. Stay true to who you are. Pursue hobbies, spend time with friends, and prioritise personal growth.

Ignoring your boundaries

Sacrificing your boundaries for the sake of peace can lead to resentment. For instance, if you constantly agree to things that make you uncomfortable just to avoid conflict, you set a precedent that your needs don’t matter and your feelings do not count.
You should rather communicate your boundaries clearly and respectfully. Healthy relationships thrive on mutual respect.

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Overanalysing every detail

Constantly reading into your partner’s words, actions, or silences can create unnecessary tension. Sometimes i think we are naturally created this way. But overthinking often leads to assumptions, and assumptions can lead to misunderstandings.
When the feeling to over analyze a situation occurs, communicate openly. If something bothers you, ask questions rather than jumping to conclusions.

Trying to change your partner

Your partner isn’t a project, and trying to mold them into your ideal version can create frustration for both of you. Relationships flourish when both parties accept each other for who they truly are.

Focus on growth together rather than forcing change. If certain behaviours are deal-breakers, have an honest conversation about them. If you can’t handle still, walk out. People don’t change easily.

Comparing your relationship to others

Scrolling through Instagram and seeing “perfect” couples can tempt you to compare. Remember, social media often showcases highlights, not the whole story. Besides, we live in aworld where people cry in the dark but smile in the open. No relationship is perfect, same way no human is perfect. Constantly comparing can make you feel dissatisfied with your own relationship. Avoid this at all cost. Focus on your unique journey with your partner. Celebrate when you achieve a project together and push each other up. A mature truth is the fact that nowhere is green.

Playing the blame game

Pointing fingers during disagreements only escalates conflict. It becomes a competition rather than a resolution-focused conversation.
Approach issues as a team. Use “we” statements like, “How can we solve this together?” rather than “This is your fault.”

Not letting your emotions known

Suppressing how you feel might seem like the easier option, but it can lead to emotional outbursts later, one you may not be able to handle. Your partner isn’t a mind-reader; communication is key.

Express your feelings in a calm and constructive way. Let your partner know when something bothers you before it becomes a bigger issue.

Neglecting self-care

Pouring all your energy into your relationship without taking care of yourself can lead to burnout. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Prioritise your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. A happy, fulfilled individual contributes to a happier relationship.

Overcompensating in the relationship

Doing too much to keep the relationship afloat—whether emotionally, financially, or otherwise—can lead to imbalance. Relationships require effort from both sides.
Allow your partner to meet you halfway. A healthy relationship is built on shared effort.

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Ignoring red flags

Ignoring signs of disrespect, manipulation, abuse or toxicity does more harm than good. You deserve a relationship that uplifts and supports you. Recognise red flags early and address them. Do not give a blind eye to it. It doesn’t end well most of the time. If necessary, don’t hesitate to walk away from a relationship that doesn’t align with your values.

 

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