The Sex Saga
“LET thy fountain be blessed; and rejoice with thy wife of thy youth.
Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breast satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love. And why with thou, my son be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger” (Proverbs 5 vs 18-20).
When I became a Christian, I asked a lot of questions. I was taught that sex was bad and would make me unfit for God’s service.
I was younger then and marriage was not on my mind, so I began paying attention to what I needed to do to grow. When I heard a preacher, it seems everyone said sex was wrong.
In fact, at a time, I began to wonder if sex were that bad, why God will let us have a desire for it, even if it were for childbearing. And I realised that it is easy to describe a religion and make it acceptable by its prohibitions.
It is true the Bible spoke against adultery and fornication, but it was clearly defined. It wasn’t just sex; it was sexual desire not properly channelled.
I wish to share here that I took the other line of preaching. Instead of saying sex is bad, I rather say sex is so good we need to make it good. We don’t let a good thing as sex get spoiled.
I think that was what God was saying when He said there were prohibitions on some forms of sexual behaviour. We must do sex rightly to avoid going about it wrongly.
Sex is not just for procreation; it is adult recreation. It is what couples, married people, do to enjoy themselves, as we consecrate part of our consecration. In fact, sex in marriage saves us from fornication and adultery.
Even when we want to fast and be spiritual, denying ourselves can be a trap than consecration.
Sex in marriage is helpful. It burst stress bubbles, as anyone who is married knows. The stress and pressures of life can make us irritated and depressed, but a good sex will relieve all that.
If you observe a regular planned sex, you increase your longetivity. Sex is a kind of aerobic exercise that is good for the heart. Orgasm triggers a release of DHEA hormone, which helps in proper blood circulation and arteries dilation. It helps us shed calories.
In fact, 30 minutes of sex can help you burn about 55 calories (from research). Orgasm after sex can make one sleep well, as oxytocin, which is a happy and relaxing hormone is released.
According to numerous researches, this promotes better sleep, which in turn boost your mood, lowers stress, keeps you at
tractive, helps you maintain your ideal weight and slim the chances of stroke and other cardiovascular diseases.
Sexual relationship also improves your immunity. It makes you a fighter, who wins the battle against various illnesses, such as cold and flu.
Those who have sex at least thrice a week have higher levels of immunoglobin A, an antibody found in our bodies that boost our immunity.
My idea is that married people should have sex more often. In fact, they should plan good times together. Avoid quarrels or situations that will take this away from them.
My suggestions for a meaningful, satisfying, fruitful sexual life is summarised below.
Don’t have sex with the wrong person. The Bible says they are ‘strangers.’ They are not one-flesh with you. You are only one flesh with your spouse. Any other person defiles your body.
God did not make the body for multiple sexual exploitations. It is for harmony of soul, mind and body. It is achievable in one channel. No matter how hungry a man is, he doesn’t eat his tongue.
Maintain hygienic health. We may not be able to totally avoid certain illness, but for your spouse’s sake, don’t sleep around. Don’t eat carelessly or be dirty.
In fact, sex with your spouse should be planned in such a way that you will always want to stay healthy and very clean for her or for him.
Treat infections as quick as possible. You can protect each other by staying faithful.
Exercise and eat rightly. If you eat heavily, you should exercise more to burn off fats or calories.
Look natural. I may not be completely accurate, but I see that when we look natural, we appeal to sexual desire more.
Smile often at home. Don’t let anything take away the laughter you share. Don’t use anger as a weapon. In fact, when you have a misunderstanding, let go the quarrel and hold on to your spouse.
Don’t let any argument or misunderstanding take you away from that intimacy. Avoid words that may be too hurting and apologise often when you get it wrong. Forgive heartily.
Make love without sex. Kisses, hugs, holding hands, doing things together, playing games and chatting can be very therapeutic.
Play together, bath together, go out often and find time for vacation. Simply share your life together.
Fill your love tank with other friends and colleagues or family members. Love has a special character… you may love one person exclusively, but you need more than the love of that person to be able to give more love.
It is in give and take. You can only give from what you have.
I take my relationship with God very seriously because it is the fountain of other loves. Those who preach and say ‘God is a consuming fire’ and not a ‘God of love’ do not know that there are things that cannot be separated.
God’s love is consuming. I fell in love with Him, it has consumed me, eaten me up. I think that is what it means when it says ‘it is a fearful thing to fall into the Hands of God.’
God is love; His love is fiery. You need a constant supply of divine love to be truly lovely to your spouse.
Stay good, healthy, holy and happy.
-E. C. Samuel (08027173447)