Lost The Love Of My Life And It’s My Fault

TWO years ago I met the love of my life. I never felt as happy as I felt with her in my whole life. We both took each other’s virginity and were both each other’s first loves. We dated for about a year, and then she dumped me for another guy. Within two months when we went back to school, she came back crying to me with a desperate love note, asking to have me back. I hooked up with her for a month, and then told her that I didn’t want to date her, breaking her heart. 

  This was the biggest mistake of my life. I couldn’t get past my pride, and the fact that she broke up with me for another guy, so I thought I could just move on and start hooking up with other girls. Within a few months she met a guy that she really liked. She is about to date him but gave me one final chance saying that she would drop everything with him if I would date her again. I was with someone at the time and made the terrible mistake of saying no. 

  It’s been a year now and I’ve been in and out of random relationships but all I could think of is her. It hurts me so much to know that I’m not with her and no other girl makes me happy because all I think of is her. She is still dating the guy she met a year ago when she almost dropped for me, but apparently she loves him a lot and is perfectly happy with him. I want her back and I have no idea what to do. HELP!